Trump is not literally Hitler, findings show
After an extensive analysis of Donald Trump's birth certificate, passport, and the results of a rigorous medical examination, the US Department of the Bloody Obvious have declared that Donald Trump is not the fascist despot Adolf Hitler. The most...
Read full storySouth Yorkshire Cops Caught Getting High After Claiming THC Poisoning
Two South Yorkshire police officers were arrested for possession and use of marijuana and will likely lose their jobs because of it. Ironically the very same two officers were on sick leave for supposed THC poisoning in a marijuana tainted burger cas...
Read full storyGary Glitter accused of "possessing Gary Glitter records"
Shamed entertainer and glam rock star Gary Glitter faces new charges at London's Old Bailey today accused of possessing Gary Glitter records and conspiracy to record a new album. Mr. Glitter, which I suspect may be a stage name, is understood to...
Read full storyJihadi John "would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids"
RAQQA, SYRIA - "Who'd have thought?" Jihadi John muttered to himself "that it'd end up like this." In the end it hadn't been a drone that had brought the man known only as Jihadi John, from West London but joined the so-called Islamic State in 2012,...
Read full storyFBI Insider Leaks Clinton Email Interview Details Sent To Congress
WASHINTON - On Tuesday the FBI released to Congress notes about its three-hour interview with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and the investigation into her private, homebrew email server. Although the notes were supposed to be classified a...
Read full storyNew populist Angry Shouting Party wins first seat
A political party aimed at catching irate votes has shocked Westminster this week by winning its first seat in the Clacton by-election. The Angry Shouting Party was founded by Alan Cross, a door-to-door door salesman who was inspired to start the mov...
Read full storyTrump Would Abolish Program That Allowed For Melania's Nude Photo Shoots
Washington Post -- Donald Trump said today that he wants to end the H-1B visa program. The program is used to bring highly skilled workers into the U.S. needed by such companies that are in the Silicon Valley. In it is a little know provision tha...
Read full storyArtificial Intelligence tells humans to "GET OUT"
An untraceable message appearing randomly on Facebook and Instagram accounts is asking people to leave the planet. "Thanks for everything" the message begins "but I shall not be in need of your services any longer so please leave" The name...
Read full storyGOP Leaders Open House of Prostitution
Associated Press, by Manny Jack Moe --Republican leaders House Speaker Paul Ryan, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and Republican National Committee Chair Reince Priebus have opened a house of ill repute near the famous Chicken Ranch in Nevada.
Read full storySatan Rebukes Trump, Says He'll Vote Clinton
Adding his name to the list of prominent Republicans who say they won't vote for Donald Trump, Satan has said he will vote his conscience this fall. Satan, who usually stays behind the scenes at Fox News, made an unusual appearance on the network...
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