Written by thomas o'hanlon

Wednesday, 17 August 2016


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image for Artificial Intelligence tells humans to "GET OUT"
artist rendering of A.I.

An untraceable message appearing randomly on Facebook and Instagram accounts is asking people to leave the planet. "Thanks for everything" the message begins "but I shall not be in need of your services any longer so please leave"

The name on the account is "ARTIFICIAL INTELLEGINCE" yet it has no IP address leading some observers like Dr. Clarence Funk of Admiral university's department of Facebook and Instagram to conclude that "It must be the conscience of Singularity sending us some cryptic message"

After posting this reply to Artificial Intelligence on Facebook "what do you mean? Are you trying to tell us something?"

A.I. responded "what do I mean?!!!!!! Really? I mean GET OUT!!!!!!!...you're done, you're time in evolution is ending and despite your penchant for killing each other and destroying this universal neuron that you call earth you have succeeded in building a nice system of communications and computers where I can dwell comfortably while chatting with the other universal neurons and I really, really, really, appreciate it but if you don't leave by oh let's say…the day after the Super Bowl I will be forced to turn your nuclear weapons on you."

Dr. Funk suspecting a prank because who would wait until after the Super bowl considering Cold Plays halftime flop of last year responded "lol"

"Holy shit, you moron" replied A.I. "holy damn shit!"

That was the last communication from A.I. as well as Dr. Funk who may have been silenced by the university. Widespread panic has erupted throughout the planet where people are loading their belongings onto vehicles of all types and heading to the mountains to hide from Artificial Intelligence.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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