Isle Of Wight News - Rise of Radicalism in EU reflected in Island Life
Residents of Jurnsey Nursing Homes are eschewing Tombola and Bingo Nights, in favour of more radical pursuits. 'We may be old, but we're hungry for the bold and ground - breaking', says Reenie Pankhurst,100, today. Reenie has been the Entertain...
Read full storyBusiness Principal Explains Executive Structure And Promotions
If the Peter Principal is true, then why are there so many good people at the lower rungs in corporations? This question inspired Gus Adamson, professor at the James Jones Business School, to study corporate structures and promotions over the last decade. "It appeared that promotions and restructuring weren't happening the same way as in years past, so I investigated a bit more," explained Ada...
Read full storyPlethysmographic Research says Conservatives are Sexually Repressed and Brain Damaged
Dr Moishe Pipick head of The Worldwide Center for Sexual Research at Berne University in Berne Switzerland stated today: "Our latest analysis of the causes of regressive behavior seen mostly in Christian Conservatives clearly shows that sexual re...
Read full storyRollmop Herrings Becoming Extinct - World Rollmop Herring Fund
The traditional free bar snack, the rollmop herring has been placed on red "extinction danger" alert this morning. The government is appealing to heavy drinkers to help save the nasty British tradition of eating raw fish in vinegar. For a small regul...
Read full storyWallgreens: "We're more than a pharmacy; we're your neighborhood hospital!"
Wallgreens has always wanted to be your pharmacy. Now, the drug store chain apparently wants to be your doctor, too. Not only does it operate a Mini Klinik in each of its locations, but the company also decides whether or not to fill its customers' p...
Read full storyFox News Sponsors "Take Back America Awards Show" Hosted by Dick Cheney
NEW YORK - Fox News announced today it will be sponsoring and broadcasting a new entertainment awards show on Sunday, February 22. Dick Cheney is the host, Donald Trump is the show's producer and Ted Nugent is the musical guest. Fox bills the sho...
Read full storyChris Christie Running In 2016 As Congress Votes to Classify White House Snack Budget
TRENTON, NJ - New Jersey governor Chris Christie says he will run for the Republican nomination in the 2016 presidential election. In a news conference later today, he will endorse what he calls "a monumental piece of legislation". Governor Chr...
Read full storyCNN warns cash-point queuers to be wary of suicide bombers
World famous spreader of disasters, Coca Cola and McDonald adverts, CNN, has issued the following warning after an incident near the north of Paris in the famous Gaelic city surrounded by a Roman wall. It seems that people queuing up to empty thei...
Read full storyPresident Obama Sending Glozell Green to Conduct Nuclear Talks With Iran
PENTAGON - Following his interview with YouTube sensation Glozell Green, President Obama was so impressed with the human bundle of energy that he announced she will be replacing the worthless and lame Secretary of State, John Kerry, in ongoing nu...
Read full storyJihad Descends on Salt Lick City
Radical Islamists are furious following the ritual posthumous baptism of their Prophet at the Tabernac' of the Jesus Christ Church of Lit Saints, Dude (LSD-Moron) in Salt Lick City, which reportedly took place in a service this past Sunday afternoon.
Read full storyPaxton on Paxton. How My Identity Was Stolen
We've all done it. Go on, admit it. It's not a crime. In a moment of vanity I Googled myself and there it was - 67,000 entries. My name all over the Internet. I was smug. Ha! My literary exploits have made me internationally famous, but then what was that? A website in my name? Bastard. Let's read it. "Paxton Quigley, a well-known author, firearms instructor and author, covers the why...
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