Chris Christie Running In 2016 As Congress Votes to Classify White House Snack Budget

Written by Moe Nightwalker

Sunday, 25 January 2015

image for Chris Christie Running In 2016 As Congress Votes to Classify White House Snack Budget
Christie's Presidential Cabinet Nominees

TRENTON, NJ - New Jersey governor Chris Christie says he will run for the Republican nomination in the 2016 presidential election. In a news conference later today, he will endorse what he calls "a monumental piece of legislation".

Governor Christie is referring to the recent passage of the "Don't Snack, Don't Tell" bill which classifies the White House snack budget under the National Security Agency.

Citing the inevitability of electing an overweight president, the House and Senate have deemed it a matter of national security to keep secret the president's snack expenses. President Obama is being pressured by Hillary Clinton to veto the legislation.

Christie is planning to run his election from diners, burger joints, and ice cream stands all over the country. He has not picked a campaign manager yet, but stresses the need for a solid background in the culinary arts and the ability to find a "good pepperoni pie at midnight. Ok, maybe 2 pies."

After becoming buddies with Obama during the post-Sandy hurricane meetings, he began selecting his "Kitchen Cabinet", while ignoring the real cabinet appointments. While Americans thought Christie and Obama were meeting regarding the storm, but according to sources that asked to remain anonymous, they were really discussing the White House kitchen.

The governor also said he plans to continue wearing his "Storm Fleece" on cooler days. It give him special bi-partisan appeal while the dark color and baggy look hides his figure.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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