CNN warns cash-point queuers to be wary of suicide bombers

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 25 January 2015

image for CNN warns cash-point queuers to be wary of suicide bombers
Nobody is safe anywhere especially if you see him!

World famous spreader of disasters, Coca Cola and McDonald adverts, CNN, has issued the following warning after an incident near the north of Paris in the famous Gaelic city surrounded by a Roman wall.

It seems that people queuing up to empty their credit limits in the freezing cold noticed a rather plump, suspicious looking gentleman with an expanded waistline waiting for a withdrawal. The local indigenous people thought this was rather dodgy as while the gentleman did not have a bag or rucksack, his bulging lumpy waistline caused quite an 'angst' feeling among the queue, fearing it may be a suicide belt.

A special armed unit of the SAS arrived and promptly threw the gentleman on the floor, stripped him down to his waist, he shivered slightly, only to discover a thick leather belt stuffed with Greek drachmas acquired many years ago whilst sitting on a rusty refugee boat stuck between Syria and Athens. He obviously forgot to exchange them for the dreaded Euro.

CNN sent their warning all around the globe and told their captive audience, "Be very careful whilst standing in a cash-point queue because these damn suicide bombers will go to any limit to finance their dastardly deeds even if it means standing in a freezing queue and blowing holes in any convenient cash-point as long as it's not in Paris (they've been there), or near about, you have been warned!"

As for the suspicious character, he was caught with his pants down; who the hell wants a drachma? (The Greeks maybe?)

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more