Obummer admits to homosexual affair with alien
Prezident Obummer has come clean--well, relatively clean. He confessed to having had a love affair with an alien--not an illegal alien from Mexico, but with a Vulcan--well, a half human, half-Vulcan. "I loved Spock," the prezident gushed. "H...
Read full story'Ireland's RTE player consistently crashes, stopping viewing of anything better
Many Irish TV viewers tune in to yet another ITV or RTE-grown broadcast of boring crassness, try to switch over or indeed, if they are very bored, try to access the RTE Programme, only to find that RTE Player freezes everything, including the possibi...
Read full storyGetting out for a walk and being nice to others is the key to living
Ground breaking findings show that not being a complete self-absorbed tosser and going for modest walks in the local park are key to a happy life. Really?! It appears that you don't need to spend thousands a year in membership to a Gym , just mov...
Read full storySorry, North Dakota, We Need You to Take All the "Anti-Vaxxers"
The Obama Administration today announced a plan for dealing with the Anti-vaxxer problem. At a news conference, DHHS Secretary Sylvia Mathews Burwell stated, "There are millions of children in our midst who are partially or completely unvaccinated ag...
Read full story200 corpses found buried under Paris supermarket
Paris, France - "At first we thought they'd died of la peste (the plague)," Inspector Clouseau said today as a mass grave of more than 200 corpses was discovered under a Paris supermarket. "Then we realised it could be the missing remains of 'Les...
Read full story7 signs your President is Bad News
1 : He has anyone who disagrees with him shot dead 2 : He insists on sending his Airforce Fighter Jets to invade the Airspace of small, neutral countries. 3 : He considers the citizens of Cornwall, a threat 4 : His idea of the Proof of Statesmanship is recording endless films of his wolf / bear - hunting exploits in Siberia, in which he appears bare/oily - chested, entouraged by appa...
Read full storyHomeless Man Accepts He Has No Role At All To Play In Emerging Social Order
New York - Homeless Man Bill Watson stumbled into what he thought was a soup kitchen but was really a basement meeting of socialist professors and students from nearby Columbia University and learned that he is not only "useless," but is actually an...
Read full storyPutin mourns Boris Nemtsov's four-bullet 'suicide'
Moscow - An official Kremlin obit posted today described the politician's death as a four-bullet back-of-the-head tragedy, a classic 'suicide' in KGB terms. Commenting on Russian breakfast TV Vladimir Putin looked tearful and borderline sincere a...
Read full storyOrganic Machine
The history of alphabet goes back to the 2nd millennium BCE. Rotary drum printing was invented in 1847. Before the invention of printing, books were handwritten by the scribes. Not all manuscripts are reliable because some of them were pure fantasies, particularly those that are attributed to self-proclaimed representatives of a deity. Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung were contemporaries in 1900. Fr...
Read full storyAlbuquerque Area Magician Nearly Lynched After Having Pet Dwarf Monkeys Take Turns Leaping Into Crowd From Atop His Dick
Albuquerque, New Mexico - In what Sheriff Deputies called "a scene reminiscent of frontier vigilante justice," an Albuquerque area magician was treed by a drunken mob that took exception to his act. Performing at an airport Ramada Inn, the magicia...
Read full storyJihadi John Says Dress is White and Gold
"Jihadi John" or Mohammed Emwazi, a west London man believed to be an ISIS militant - and chief executioner - has waded mask first into the "is this dress gold and white or is it blue and black?" melee by declaring that the dress is 'definitely'white...
Read full storyWarren Buffet advises schoolchildren to "eat junk"
OUT THERE -- Famed financier Warren Buffet says his secret source of energy is in his name: buffet. "Eat like it's your last meal," he advises six-year-old schoolchildren, "and you're at an all-you-can-eat buffet!" That's where the octogenarian-pl...
Read full storyAircraft Giant Flying Higher With Legal Pot Breaks For Assembly Line Workers
BILLINGSGATE POST: With Washington State legalizing the possession and growing of pot, aircraft manufacturer Gunwing announced that workers in their assembly facility in Everett, Washington would be allowed to smoke pot on their breaks. Although th...
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