Written by Ella Davide

Saturday, 28 February 2015

1 : He has anyone who disagrees with him shot dead

2 : He insists on sending his Airforce Fighter Jets to invade the Airspace of small, neutral countries.

3 : He considers the citizens of Cornwall, a threat

4 : His idea of the Proof of Statesmanship is recording endless films of his wolf / bear - hunting exploits in Siberia, in which he appears bare/oily - chested, entouraged by apparently adoring minions.

5 : Insists on visiting Dignitaries, especially the US President, walking miles up a Kremlin marble floor, before being honoured with an Audience with the Czar.

6 : Persistently swaggers, giving the impression of a Cockney Whelk - Dealer / Kray Brothers 'heavy'.

7 : Annually switches of the Gas Supply to Ukrainians, just to show 'em who's boss

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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