Pope Denounces Euthanasia
POPE FRANCIS denounced the "Right to Die Movement" on Saturday 14th November 2014, saying that Euthanasia is a "sin against God and creation". We talked to their Foreign Affairs Director at the Holy See, Jesuit Bishop Alphonse de Mason. "The V...
Read full storyOwners of iconic El Toro peak prepare to sue Morgan Hill
Santa Clara Mountains, California - The owners of an iconic mountain landmark set in the eastern foothills of the Santa Cruz Mountains, Santa Clara County, have hired the nation's top litigation attorney to sue the pants off Morgan Hill. Or, to b...
Read full storyPhilae Brings Science Back to Earth
Tragedy has struck after a major news conference at the Philae Science, Operations and Navigation Centre in France's CNES space agency, Toulouse. Prof. Claude Clouseau director of Science and Robotic exploration gave a rousing speech to a gatheri...
Read full storyElite Squad of Twitter Birdies Handles the Queen's Tweets
Shortly after it was announced that the Queen had sent her first tweet it's been revealed that only "special" Twitter birds are entrusted with the royal tweets. Not just any old birdie will do. In addition to possessing a royal pedigree (commone...
Read full storyEuro Beavers May Not Be As Clean As Their U.S. Or Gibraltar Cousins
Skankey Beavers living in the village of Skankey in the River Ottie in Devon could be allowed to remain in the wild if free of disease. The British government's Beaver quality control department had intended to capture six beavers, test for diseas...
Read full storyLondon Mayor Boris Johnson has denied that he plans to run for Pope next year
Boris, who has been in charge of the nation's capital for several years now and is well-known for his unruly hair, eccentric way of talking and extra marital affairs, says that he has never considered being Pope and would not be qualified for the job...
Read full storyLorde's New Songs Leaked to Media
Lorde's newest songs have been leaked ot the media. A secret snitch sent along a copy of the eighteen year-old New Zealander's latest songs. The source says "Little White Yugos" is likely to be at least a moderate success on the pop charts. "All the...
Read full storyThe Biosphere Reportedly on Life Support
EARTH--The Biosphere, the global sum of all the ecosystems on Earth, is reportedly on life support, says its children Geosphere, Hydrosphere, Cryosphere, and Atmosphere. Biosphere, which has been suffering from a number of terminal conditions for...
Read full storyGolden Rule of NOT Tumble Drying Expensive Shirts Broken
The golden rule of NOT EVER tumble drying a Florida man's GOOD shirts has been broken and violated - resulting in two inches of material simply disappearing into thin air. The once comfortable white and blue designer label polo shirts which Dunc...
Read full storyVeterans Day Turns Into Nightmare For Veteran
A Gulf War veteran has lost his job after having to take the day off work to babysit his children, who had the day off from school due to schools being closed to celebrate...Veteran's Day. "Did I have a good Veteran's Day? Not really...as a real v...
Read full storySofia Vergara Shocked That Some Products Not Endorsed By Her - Offers To Help Out
A shell shocked Sofia Vergara is still reeling in horror after discovering that there were still products and services that the buxom Colombian actress was not endorsing. "Call me mad - but it seems as though there are many products and services...
Read full storyReport Suggest That Not All Zombies Flesh Eating
A study conducted by the University of West Georgia has concluded that not all Zombies, or 'Walking Dead' are flesh eating - in fact some are quite friendly. "There is a wide misconception that every reanimated rotting corpse is a danger to living...
Read full storyTiger Woods Prowling near Disneyland Paris, Authorities Say
PARIS - French authorities say that Tiger Woods is on the loose near Disneyland Paris, one of Europe's top tourist destinations, and have urged hot women in three towns to stay indoors. The town of Montevrain sent out a news alert on its Fac...
Read full storySignificant "Neanderthal" Remains Found By U.S. Tourist In Gibraltar
"Gorham's Cave," extending 131 feet into the cliffs of Gibraltar, has always been considered a happy hunting ground for researchers interested in the Neanderthal Age. The knife blades and pipe scrapers used in curing hides discovered there were the t...
Read full storySweden intel utilizes full resources on mystery submarine with spectators, waders, and bottom chasers
Sweden's hunt for its mystery submarine turned virulent today with reports the mini-submarine may have been an experimental fish launched from an Iceland or Denmark laboratory. This fish is an underwater midget marine laboratory for examining sea...
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