New TV Show 'The Wanking Dead' To Focus On Masturbating British Zombies
AMC have announced that they intend greenlighting a new Zombie TV show, loosely based on their hit "The Walking Dead". The series will be set in England, after a Zombie Apocalypse leaves the vast majority of the British population continually mastur...
Read full storyParents object to condoms in sex ed lessons
BEAN TOWN, MA -- Boston public schools have suspended the distribution of condoms-well some condoms. Specifically, officials will no longer provide, upon request, any condom that is packaged in a wrapper that encourage users to "hump one," advertises...
Read full storyDetroit roofer and mortician's assistant make eerie discovery
DETROIT, MI - Her lawn was mowed. Her bills were paid. Her mail was collected every day. But the lady of the house never went out or answered her door. She couldn't: she was dead. In fact, she was mummified. Her remains were found, neatly...
Read full storyScience and Technolgy : 1 - FAA : 0
WHITEWASHINGTON, DC -- In dismissing a U. S. Federal Aviation Agency (FAA) lawsuit against a drone "pilot," a federal judge has, in effect, given the okay to the non-commercial aerial transportation of goods. "They have a right to fly the friendl...
Read full storyBook Review - The Pat Conroy Cookbook by Pat Conroy and Suzanne Williamson Pollak
I have to say the title of this book is very misleading. I had hoped that this cookbook would explain to me, in detail, the various ways one could cook the author Pat Conroy, whom I admire very much. I was hoping there would be recipes, should you be able to convince above mentioned author (Pat Conroy - mentioned again here), to allow you to cook him. Sadly, tonight at least, there will...
Read full storyBook Review - In Her Shoes by Jennifer Weiner
What man hasn't, at one time or another, tried on a pair of women's shoes? I for one have often sneakily worn stilettos, heels and thigh high boots, and danced around the house while my wife is out shopping. I think this is far more common than most men admit. As a kid I would sneak on a pair of my mother's sandals, during visits to relatives, just like all the other kids I suppose, I would...
Read full storyBoeing Dreamliner's Dream is Over For Now
Boeing today announced that the production line of its much-heralded 787 Dreamliner will be shut down until such time as the plane can be built in a way so that it can actually fly. After months of recalls due to various defects, it became obvious th...
Read full storyHop on Pot - Not by Dr. Seuss
Longmont, CO (STT News) - The owner of a craft brewery in Colorado has come up with a unique idea and one that stands on the verge of shaking the entire industry to the core. Tommy Marin, who six years ago began bottling his specialized beers and...
Read full storyPresident Obama Admits That He Lost $800 Betting On The Miami Heat Vs. The San Antonio Spurs Game - Which The Spurs Won
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama was still talking about the fantastic play of the San Antonio Spurs who defeated LeBron James and the world champion Miami Heat by a score of 111-87. The president said that he had made a bet with his good friend...
Read full storyLos Angeles Lakers Fans Say It's Time For Coach Mike D'Antoni To Hit The Road
LOS ANGELES - Lakers fans are still reeling from witnessing the worst defeat in the history of the boys in purple and gold and they are asking that Coach D'Antoni be fired. The Lakers were walloped all over the place by their neighbors the Los Ang...
Read full storyPopeye's Chicken To Open Up An Olive Oyl's Chicken Drive Thru Window Store
SANDY SPRINGS, Georgia - The Popeye's Chicken Fast Food Franchise has just announced a new breakthrough within their corporation. Company spokeswoman Geneva "Chicky" Queensberry informed the news media that starting in April the chicken chain will...
Read full storyThe President of Peru Visits The White House With Some Great News
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Peruvian President Billy Fashionista flew to Washington, D.C. to meet with President Obama in the Oval Office of the White House. The president of the South American country had some great news for President Obama. He told him t...
Read full storyObama and Putin hour-long phonecall was 'gay hold music'
Details are emerging of the hour-long conference call between President Obama and Vladimir Putin this week. Official reports suggested Obama had urged Putin to embrace a diplomatic resolution to the crisis in Crimea, while David Cameron performed a s...
Read full storyPhil Jackson Says He's Ready To Take A Head Coaching Job
NEW YORK CITY - Phil Jackson was in the Big Apple to make an appearance on his long time friend Larry King's talk show The Viagra View. Phil was asked how he was enjoying retirement. He grinned and said that it was great not having to listen to Ja...
Read full storyTwo Porn Stars Found Working In Governor Chris Christie's Office
NEWARK, New Jersey - New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is probably feeling like the title to the Linda Ronstadt song "Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me." As if Pizza Gate, Hurricane Sandy Gate, and Bridge Gate weren't enough now comes word that two women wo...
Read full storyThe Kansas State Senate Will Vote On Outlawing French Kissing
TOPEKA, Kansas - The recent news item about Miley Cyrus trying to French kiss Katy Perry kicked up renewed interest in the Kansas state senate. The matter had been proposed by Senator Magenta Quakerquill [R-Wichita] but it had been delegated to th...
Read full storyLaos Shows Its Support For The Ukraine By Sending Them A Check For $16,000 [U.S.]
VIENTIANE, Laos - The Ukraine has expressed its sincere gratitude to the tiny country of Laos for donating $16,000 to the cause for freedom. The Laotian government stated that they are in the process of possibly shifting some funds around and they...
Read full storyBruce Jenner Admits He Recieved A Lot of Womanly Tips From Kim Kardashian's Masseuse
HOLLYWOOD - Bruce Jenner, who by all accounts is on his way to becoming a her, confided a very personal fact to Taffeta Kixx with The Gossipette Gazette. Jenner told Miss Kixx that he learned a lot of womanly things from his wife Kris Kardashian-J...
Read full storyArt history: finger painting
Finger paints are bright primary colors that artists apply to canvases using their fingers, rather than brushes, to save money and avoid costly cleanup. During spring break, Miss Ruthie invented the medium when she was thinking of a "fun, creative project" for her daycare students. They got bored easily, she explained, and she wanted to find a way to divert them for the hours between nap time a...
Read full storyRussell Brand Remarks That Miley Cyrus Has Got The Biggest Friggin Tongue He Has Ever Seen
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand appeared on The Viagra View and was told by Regis Philbin that he now has a connection to Miley Cyrus. Brand looked a bit puzzled and asked in what way. Philbin said that he was once married to Katy Perry, and Kat...
Read full storyClassic TV: "Columbo"
Columbo, a police detective, wears a wrinkled trench coat, knee-high leggings made to resemble rumpled trouser legs, a gravy-stained shirt and tie, and a pair of basic black shoes that he bought from a Salvation Army thrift store. He wears the coat and leggings so that he can open the coat and expose himself to unsuspecting women as he pretends to be an exhibitionist. Known for his stupidity an...
Read full storyObama Delays Daylight Savings Time Until 2017
Washington,D.C.-The Obama administration announced today that President Obama has signed an executive order delaying the start of Daylight Savings Time until after the elections in 2016. The move, which was widely anticipated, comes on the heels...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Judge Harry Connick, Jr., Says He Doesn't Get Paid To Be Nice
HOLLYWOOD - Early on into the American Idol live season and Harry Connick, Jr., has already emerged as the "Mean" judge. The eleven remaining contestants were individually polled and asked if they thought that the Louisiana Cajun had become much m...
Read full story