Hop on Pot - Not by Dr. Seuss

Funny story written by Frank Michaels

Sunday, 9 March 2014

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Ale with an added kick?

Longmont, CO (STT News) - The owner of a craft brewery in Colorado has come up with a unique idea and one that stands on the verge of shaking the entire industry to the core.

Tommy Marin, who six years ago began bottling his specialized beers and ales, first explains that his state has just under 150 micro-breweries. "Budweiser and the rest of the piss-pot American corporate breweries have nothing on us here. We pretty much own the market."

But what's coming next is, undoubtedly, going to turn more than a few heads.

"The process is fairly simple. We have a contract with a marijuana grower that will provide us with the stalks and roots of the plants after harvest. From there, we splice hop tops onto them, allowing the mutation to mend and grow. After this, they are transported back to our hops facility and... wah-la!"

Hops are one of the few close relatives to cannabis and so the joining of the two is not all that difficult.

The whole process was once explained in some detail decades ago in the first edition of the 'Anarchist's Cookbook'; a counter-culture publication that made the rounds back in the hippie days and was all but officially banned by both FBI Director J. Edgar Hoover and the Nixon administration.

But what about today?

Imagining hops grown on pot roots as part of an ale, or especially an IPA, has already generated a lot of interest. Marin's first batch is due to hit the shelves sometime mid-fall of this year. "We don't expect to have to bring any of it back home due to passing expiration dates." he said with a smile.

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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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