Science and Technolgy : 1 - FAA : 0

Written by Gee Pee

Sunday, 9 March 2014

WHITEWASHINGTON, DC -- In dismissing a U. S. Federal Aviation Agency (FAA) lawsuit against a drone "pilot," a federal judge has, in effect, given the okay to the non-commercial aerial transportation of goods.

"They have a right to fly the friendly skies," the judge, Melvin Mellow, ruled, "the same as my nephew Kenny has the right to fly his balsa wood version of the stealth fighter."

There is no difference, the judge declared, between an unpiloted drone and a model airplane, except that the former is constructed using "screws and stuff," whereas the latter is held together with glue and is powered by rubber bands.

The FAA is as "outraged" as a faceless organization can be and may appeal the court's decision to "a Higher Power."

The agency claims that it alone has control of the nation's airspace and can govern not only motorized aircraft, manned or unmanned, model airplanes, and drones, but also clouds, tornadoes, lightning, rain, snow, sleet, hail, and even UFOs., which hopes to use larger commercial drones to deliver books by the millions in its ongoing effort to increase adult and adolescent literacy "across the nation and around the world," applauded the judge's decision.

Indeed, hopes to market two-seater drones that can be preprogrammed to deliver couples to romantic resorts or to rescue them from cruise ships that run afoul of rocks, bad weather, or their captain's incompetence.

There is no word from the FAA as to whether the agency will appeal the court's ruling, but U. S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas says he's hoping the government will do so. "Bring it on!" he said.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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