Two Artists to Record New "We Are the World" Song for Border Immigrants
Los Angeles - It has been announced that Prince and Bono will team up to record a follow-up to the 1980's anthem "We Are the World" to raise public awareness about the latest immigration crisis along our southern border. Many other artists wer...
Read full storySevern Bridge Amnesty - Prisoner Exchange Imminent
In a dramatic press release, The Prince of Wales has ordered the release of 202 Scotsmen and 304 Yorkshiremen from the notorious Severn Bridge Toll avoidance prison. In return, H.R.H. The Duke of Edinburgh will release 501 Welshmen imprisoned...
Read full storyDubya's Predator Chapel Ranch an Architectural Digest listing
Crawford, Texarse - Bush's Texan teardown was listing at 90 degrees today according to readers' reflux reactions to the Architectural Digest feature. The glossy rag is rumored to have been paid a hefty six figure sum by the ex-president to make P...
Read full storyObama, Boehner Have Mental Disorders
The American Psychiatric Association has sought to determine who is most mentally ethically challenged, Republican Speaker of The House, John Boehner, or Democratic President Barack Obama. A study utilizing the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of...
Read full storyInflation Has Pushed Price of "Your Thoughts" to 9.5 Cents: Most Thoughts Not Worth The Investment
Wall Street - Economic inflation has pushed the price of "your thoughts" to nine and a half cents ($0.095) and most investment experts agree that it is usually an extremely bad investment yielding not only no actual positive return, but it has the po...
Read full storyWoman Goes Berserk When She Learns Not Every Redbox Has Every Movie
Middleton - Local Middleton resident Elvira Standard was arrested yesterday after ramming her car into the Redbox outside a Kroger grocery store. Ms. Standard in fact did not strike the Redbox just one time, but backed up and rammed into the kiosk fo...
Read full storyObama Insists America Shouldn't Make it Harder for 'Best and Brightest' to Come to Country
Austin, TX - Many Americans agree with the president that we should not make it harder for the 'best and brightest' to come live in our country. However, most Americans would like to send President Obama a dictionary so he can look up what 'best...
Read full storyWorld Cup souvenir lets fans control time
Zürich, Switzerland - Busy soccer fans can now extend their hectic days with a new World Cup innovation from FIFA. Called My Time™, the futbol souvenir puts the power of soccer scheduling into the hands of ordinary spectators. Delivered wit...
Read full storyPalin: Impeach LeBron As King Of Basketball
PANDERING FALLS, ALASKA -- Sarah Palin is calling for the impeachment of LeBron James as the king of basketball, noting his pursuit of a max deal at the expense of loyalty to his most recent employer, the Miami Heat, is despicable, reprehensible, loa...
Read full storyRick Warren, Cardinal Baloney Give Advice To Obama
In the U.S., critics say, the terms "faith based," "religion," and "family values" cut off thinking in the American brain, generating endorphins and sometimes evoking nods and smiles. Now, after the Hobby Lobby decision allowing "faith based" tigh...
Read full storyRoyals Donate Their Dead Horses To Food Centres For The Poor
Dead nags, ponies and racehorses will be dragged to soup kitchens and refuges on Princess Annie's suggestion, it was revealed to our Royal correspondent this morning". "Watch this space" said the philanthropic Princess, "we may be sending grouse,...
Read full storyBig Brother Rises from the Grave
Dame Flossy, now acting on behalf of the Establishment to cover up any and every sexual misdeed in the past, has been visited by her deceased brother Lord Haverstack who was dealing with this very issue on behalf of the Establishment in the 1980's.
Read full storyAbu Bakr Al-Baaghdadi gives latest speech from the back of "pimped up" gold-plated limo
The hate preacher and ISIS leader was mocked for flashing an expensive watch during one of his speeches recently. However the radical terrorist has caused further controversy by releasing his latest hate-filled speech which was filmed at the back of...
Read full storyGerman Coach sacked for below-average 7-1 victory over Brazil
German football coach Joachim Low was fired from his position as manager of the German national side at the World Cup today. The German papers had already been clamouring for his head after making the nation of Germany suffer the humiliation of...
Read full storyMeandering Through The Medicine Cabinet
Why is it that in this age of enlightened attitudes from the new generation of modern families and forty-something hipsters-wannabes is there still a wholly unrounded perception towards those who 'do' drugs? My days of indulgence were sadly snatched away from me upon the birth of my son. My last joint was rolled and flamed on the very day he was born. I had spent all night at the hospital, th...
Read full storyPoodle Glass - Google's Shocking Amendment
And BOOM!!! Google HQ exploded to bits. Just as they had their amazing "Google Glass" on the Product Line. "Google thought everything was over", said Google C.E.O Larry Smith. "Alas, until thy young , innocent pink poodle appeared from out of the...
Read full storyNew Robot Dog To Fight New League Of Crime
Mexico's criminal underworld has taken a dark turn with the rise of new criminals known as, 'super cyber scientific secret base bad guys.' The fight against crime called for an out of towner. An unknown police man who believes his dog is a robot.
Read full storyFrench Tarts Provided For Cabinet Ministers At Taxpayers' Expense
Cabinet Ministers were provided with French tarts to help them to relax after tough meetings, it is claimed by a former civil servant. The whistleblower used to blow a whistle after the meetings had concluded, to act as a signal for an accomplice to...
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