Woman Goes Berserk When She Learns Not Every Redbox Has Every Movie

Funny story written by Catchthisdrift

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

image for Woman Goes Berserk When She Learns Not Every Redbox Has Every Movie
Elvira Standard as she leaves the Middleton Police Station

Middleton - Local Middleton resident Elvira Standard was arrested yesterday after ramming her car into the Redbox outside a Kroger grocery store. Ms. Standard in fact did not strike the Redbox just one time, but backed up and rammed into the kiosk four times. In the process, she also caused considerable damage to Kroger's outdoor display of patio furniture and ferns.

According to eye-witnesses and surveillance video, Ms. Standard had been standing next to the Redbox for almost 30 minutes taking notes as she looked at the wall-mounted display box that contained small images of many movies. Ms. Standard then attempted to rent a movie from the kiosk as she referenced her notes. Said Kroger manager Norm Goodcheer "We started getting reports of a very angry woman at the Redbox. From what I could tell, she was trying to rent movies that weren't available in our machine. She was getting more and more agitated. Next thing I knew we heard this large crash, followed by three more. I knew it right away - at least part of our fern display just had to be damaged."

According to a Redbox spokesperson, not every Redbox kiosk contains every movie shown in the display. Said the Redbox representative, "The pictures in the display box next to each kiosk show all kinds of movies. Current new releases, popular older movies that are being frequently rented, movies we've been able to acquire very cheaply so we've pushed them out on the market, straight to DVD crap that appeals only to teenage girls or stoners. To think that every movie shown on the display is actually available in that particular kiosk is... well.. it's a perfectly logical thing to think. I never really thought of it that way before. You see the picture of a movie next to the box, you assume that movie is available. Huh. Wow. That could explain a lot of the angry emails we get and send straight to trash."

Many people interviewed after the event who said they frequently used Redbox agreed that the displays can be misleading. Said one bystander "I've gotten to the point that if I see someone looking over that poster, I just say to them 'you know all those movies aren't in this box, right?'"

Ms Standard was released to the custody of her husband.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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