Obama, Boehner Have Mental Disorders

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Wednesday, 9 July 2014

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The American Psychiatric Association has sought to determine who is most mentally ethically challenged, Republican Speaker of The House, John Boehner, or Democratic President Barack Obama. A study utilizing the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition (DSM-IV) sought to reach a conclusion.

The purpose of the study was to "give to the American people at least one measurement of political party leadership to aid them in more effectively participating in the American political process."

A panel of the eight most famous psychiatrists in the United States could not ascertain which of the two politicians was more "around the ethical bend," as Dr. Eric Fromm put it.

"We examined their stated values, beliefs and actions on two issues: medical marijuana and immigration. The "war on drugs" and immigration are 2 of the policy issues of our times. That's why we chose them," said panelist Fromm.

"President Obama, in his campaigning has stated that there should not be federal raids on Medical Marijuana dispensaries or small gardens in a state where they are legal. He oversees the Justice Department whose memos take the same position. Yet the department continues the raids. Just last month there were 10 such raids in Los Angeles alone."

" A particular case in point is multiple-felony case against four family members and a friend who tended a rural marijuana garden for personal medical use in the state of Washington.

Homeowner Larry Harvey, 70, has been the public face of the defendants. The DEA found 44 plants in his garden, which is legal under Washington law. He uses the medical marijuana to relieve severe pain for gout. Harvey and the others face five years in a federal penitentiary. But Jason Zucker, the family friend who shared the pot could get life because of a prior marijuana conviction.

Said Psychiatrist Fromm, "Doctors prescribe medical cannabis for spasms caused by multiple sclerosis, nausea from cancer chemotherapy, poor appetite caused by HIV, seizure disorders and the like. Obama knows this so why the concerted attack on medical marijuana?"

"The panel concluded that he suffers from Anti-Social Personality Syndrome which, in part means the incapacity to identify with the suffering of others. Too, of course he is a terrible prevaricator, which is an important aspect of the syndrome, said Dr. Fromm.

Turning to the issue of immigration the panel found that Anti-Social Personality syndrome was also in play. Fromm pointed out that, during his 6 years in office Obama has deported some 2 million immigrants. Many deportations involve parents of US-born children and hundreds of thousands of families have been broken up. "This is in spite of the President's public statement expressing sympathy for the plight of immigrants."

Dr. Fromm turned to speaker Boehner and, on immigration, noted that he has sponsored and fought for a bill in the House that that would charge all undocumented immigrants with felonies, arrest priests who are providing meals to hungry immigrants, or people who are running shelters for women who have been subject to domestic abuse. "Obviously he too has an Anti-Social Personality Disorder," said Fromm.

On the matter of cannabis use, Dr. Fromm points out that the Speaker has been a life-long consumer of tobacco and alcohol which, according to experts, are much more dangerous drugs than cannabis.

"But Boehner has written that he is 'Unalterably opposed to the legalization of marijuana or any other FDA Schedule I drug. I remain concerned that legalization will result in increased abuse of all varieties of drugs, including alcohol.' Of course social psychopaths are notorious for being liars and hypocrites and the Speaker fits the bill," Said the APA panelist Fromm. "Of course, The DEA 'wrong door' pot busts lead to deaths of innocent people. I doubt that would bother Bohener. He'd probably say it was worth it in order fill prisons with low-level drug offenders."

Dr. Fromm concluded by saying, "On the basis of studying the President and the Speaker on these two issues, I can't say which one is more ethically challenged. I would say that one a Piaget-Koihlberg measurement of moral development they are both at Stage One, the lowest possible level. They just can't put themselves in another person's shoes. This certainly doesn't give the American voter much guidance on whom to support in elections, republicans or democrats. My own feeling is 'a plague on both their houses."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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