Church of Scientology to Combine With Sears & Roebuck
Clearwater, FL The Church of Scientology and Sears & Roebuck have both had hard times in the last few years. Scientology has been having lots of members quit, and Sears has been having many old customers quit. "We feel that since we are both...
Read full storyGOP: "Stop Feeding Poor Kids Lunch and We'll Extend Benefits for the Long-term Unemployed"
WASHINGTON, DC--Rep. Al Newtrition, of the Tea Party Caucus in Congress, today announced that the House would be willing to extend unemployment benefits to the long-term unemployed only if the federal government would stop wasting money feeding poor...
Read full storyZut alors! French president's secret slut 'is really his new wife!'
Paris, France - "Zee lady eez no two-dime ho," is how an Élysée Palace spokesman put it, "she eez zee new First Lady of France!" The giant PR admission comes as the French media suddenly upgrades its original 'bit on the side' profile of blond act...
Read full storyHomeless Dogs Better Off Than Homeless
A Harvard Research Study released today proves that homeless dogs, reguardless of where they live, are better off then the homeless. "Dogs have the unique ability to survive the worst situations" says researcher Doug St. Charles. "Lets face it, d...
Read full storyDeputies Search Of Justin Bieber's Home Fails To Find Any Talent Or Charisma
Sheriff's deputies in California, with a warrant to search the home of teen pop sensation Justin Bieber, came up short and failed to locate any sign of talent nor the remotest sniff of charisma or charm. Investigators with the Los Angeles County S...
Read full storySpooky how George Dubya Bush festive artefuct predicted new Cardinal Sin, huh?
Crawford, Texarse - A limited edition festive ornament designed by Dubya on sale for ten bucks at the President George W Bush Library & Mausoleum has stunned the world with its uncanny prescience. Described on the center's gift shop website as...
Read full storyBritish man calls police after thieves nick his cannabis plants!
A British man, who owned a cannabis plantation in his cellar, called the police while thieves broke into his home after being informed that the owner was just about to have a bumper harvest. The dastardly thieves went down into the cellar and nipp...
Read full storyMartin Schwimmer sought in Birmingham, England
Doris Claypipe and her husband Dennis from England are just back from vacation in New York City. There, they met a Mr. Gerald Stromberg who had a drink with them at a bar near Central Park. Mr. Stromberg asked them to "say Hi" to his cousin, Mart...
Read full storyUS Department of Education Eliminates High School Graduation Requirements
WASHINGTON, DC - The US Department of Education Secretary, Arne Duncan, announced today that Graduation requirements for US high school students would be eliminated to increase the graduation rate. Four new exams that will be required for graduati...
Read full storyThe MOUSE Shall Have His Revenge
The Mouse has had enough. Within his realm, The Mouse would be inscribed THE MOUSE, but here on this satire site we are safe from his surveillance and what could be misconstrued as a sign of disrespect. At least for now, that is. For years The Mouse has watched as young upstarts have corroded the Empire that he and his Master have so carefully and painstakingly put together. It is frus...
Read full storyMore value for money demanded from Royal scroungers
In a move to bring more accountability to the Royal "non Monarchs" (or scroungers), they will be made to appear on T.V. after Premier League football managers on "Final Score" and give an account of where our hand-outs went for the previous week.
Read full storyMan pops empty potato chip packet in Dallas cinema, 50 people wounded
In a tragic misunderstanding at the Kennedy Cinema complex in Dallas, a chain reaction was accidentally started when everyone shot the person sitting next to them. It started off as a prank when a man popped an empty chip packet against his hand.
Read full storyCatherine Zeta Jones Says She's Ending Her May-December Marriage To Michael Douglas
NEW YORK CITY - Catherine Zeta Jones stated to The Right Coast Revue that her being bipolar has nothing to do with her having decided to end her 13-year marriage to Michael Douglas. Catherine did say that she has always been superstitious about th...
Read full storyGovernor Christie Comments That He Did Not Use Hurricane Sandy Donations To Buy Food For Himself and His Family
TRENTON, New Jersey - A reporter with American Spotlight Magazine has placed the spotlight smack dab on New Jersey's Governor Chris Christie. ASM's Cutter Shiloh said that he has inside information from an unnamed inside source that the governor o...
Read full storyDenmark's Beautiful Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt Denies She's Been Sexting President Obama
COPENHAGEN, Denmark - Danish Prime Minister Helle Thorning-Schmidt has responded to White House reports that allege that she has been sending text messages of a personal nature to President Obama. The very pretty prime minister did admit that she...
Read full storyThe Ducks In Steamboat Springs, Colorado Are Acting Downright Weird
STEAMBOAT SPRINGS, Colorado - The city of Steamboat Springs has been engulfed in one heck of a cluster of marijuana clouds that just seems to linger over the town located in Northwestern Colorado. Officer Reggie Danzerdust, 42, with the Steamboat...
Read full storyKaley Cuoco of The Big Bang Theory Explains Why She Married Down
HOLLYWOOD - Kaley Cuoco is on The Big Bang Theory which is one of the most popular shows in LaLaLand. The 28-year-old actress who plays a ditsy waitress on television just got married on New Year's Eve. Kaley told Carolina Chipotle with Bedroom...
Read full storyOhio State University Could Be Relocating To Denver and Become Ohio State University At Denver
COLUMBUS, Ohio - Word filtering out of the dean's office at Ohio State University is that the school could be relocating to Denver, Colorado. An inside source stated that the college board of regents is considering the move due to the fact that th...
Read full storyPETA Wants To Meet With The Ringling Brothers Barnum & Bailey Circus
NORFOLK, Virginia - The executive director with PETA, Mimosa Ledbetter, recently stated on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that her group would like to have a nice friendly meeting with the representatives of the world's biggest circus, The Ringling Brother...
Read full storyThe Top 10 Headlines of 2013
The Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency based in Chicago has compiled a list of the top 10 headlines of 2013. ADGA Spokesperson Bagby B. Buckleybox stated that he sat down with several entertainment publications and news agencies and went over thousands of headlines. The group that Buckleybox met with consisted of Fajita San Guacamole with Hollywood Innuendo, Pico de Gallo with Tittle Tattle T...
Read full storye-Bay Chief Defends Kissing Devil's Behind
E-Bay CEO, John Donahoe today issued a press release explaining why a picture at auction of a women kissing satan's posterior, along with other auctions that had devil worship with sexual content, was allowed on the mega-corporation's auction site.
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