Justin Bieber Gets Some Payback From Buddies
Although Justin Bieber likes to pull jokes even on his best friends, the friends have had enough and reversed one on Gerber. Justin had several friends over and had invited several ladies over as well and told the guys they were going to trick the...
Read full storyWeird shit going on at Sochi Games as failed Olympic Ring channels BP logo
Sochi, Black Sea - It's spooky how not even the sight of red-hot tennis ace Maria Sharapova's perky 32-DD tits nor Vladimir Putin girlfriend Alina Kabaeva's slinky ass could fire up one of five illuminated Olympic Rings at the Winter Olympic Games op...
Read full storyNew Sport Introduced At Sochi Olympic Games
A new sport has been introduced in today's Olympic games in Sochi. It is Mixed Martial Arts. MMA events will be fought in wire cages, as is the custom in the United States. The purpose of cage fighting is to punch, kick, and pound a man or woman...
Read full storyAwkward Moment Shared at Bikini Espresso Stand
VANCOUVER, WA-What was supposed to be a simple coffee purchase turned in to a critical moment in the career of George Blankenship, associate professor of English at Washington State University Vancouver as he exchanged glances with one of his Feminis...
Read full storyPutin Bans Colbert Show Punishes Viewers of Pussy Riot
Two of the Pussy Riot Russian punk band were hilarious on the Stephen Colbert show 2 nights ago. They poked fun at virtual dictator, Valdimir Putin and made his athletic exploits, which display his aging body, look absurd. The Pussy Riot members wer...
Read full storyEconomy in Colorado Higher Than The Rockies
Denver Mayor Hancock says that, although he was against legalizing recreational marijuana at first, he says it is making his city and the whole state wealthy. "I had previously thought about all the problems but they don't seem to be any worse tha...
Read full story'Seven days to save my ass!' - Brit Prime Minister
London - A scandal about UK Prime Monster David Cameron and royal benefits slag Kate Middleton is threatening to oust the politician from his smug seat of power. Weeks of media overkill have seen Cameron, 69, promoted as a regular kinda matrimoni...
Read full storyF**k The Winter Olympics: Assistant US Secretary of State Victoria Nuland may join protest
Washington - A top-ranking US politician who f-bombed the US ambassador to Kiev Geoffrey Pyatt has been invited to become honorary patron of the alternative Winter Olympics movement. Victoria Nuland's 'F**k The EU' stand on Russian-Ukranie relati...
Read full storyWith No Dick
About 5 billion years ago, earth came into existence. Some billion years later, life emerged. Additional changes resulted in creation of the first organisms. Next, plants and animals, carnivorous and non-carnivorous, appeared. Then, a new species was born, called Homo sapiens. This odd animal inherited the original traits of the beasts of the world. According to Freud the id, or rather the anim...
Read full storyPussy Riot in F**k The Winter Olympics opening ceremony
Bloodyvostock, Russia - The all-female slag band will be the headline act at tonight's alternative Russian Olympics opening ceremony at the Bloodyvostock National Arena organisers said today. Thousands of tickets have been sold for the Sochi Suckx...
Read full storyWales sends sheep towards Uranus
Uranus has long fascinated the Welsh by virtue of it having thirteen rings. Cymgoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaub in Wales has launched a capsule containing a "Genesis" probe and microsheep on an unannounced Space launch intended to colonise Uranus. She...
Read full storySochi, Russia To Get Hit By A Record-Breaking Blizzard
SOCHI, Russia - Russian meteorologists are predicting that Sochi will get hit with the worst blizzard in 51 years. Weathermen are reporting that the temperatures will fall down to minus 73 degrees F. The Sochi Olympics Organizing Committee has...
Read full storyPot-Flavored Wedding Cakes Are All The Rage In Colorado
ASPEN - Destin Buttonboldt owner of The Baker's Dozen Bakery Shop has hit upon a new idea that he says has turned his little Aspen bakery into Fort Knox. Buttonboldt said that a friend of his suggested that he make pot-laced wedding cakes. He q...
Read full storyDonald Trump Explains Why He Wants To See Justin Bieber's Birth Certificate
NEW YORK CITY - Billionaire mogul Donald Trump is back on the front page again as he has demanded to see the birth certificate of Justin Bieber. Trump appeared on The Viagra View and he told Larry King that as a tax-paying citizen of the United St...
Read full storyPeyton Manning Thinking About Retiring
DENVER - One of the NFL's greatest quarterbacks has hinted that he may consider hanging up his football cleats. Peyton Manning spoke with Hercules Confetti of Sporting Chance Magazine and told him that he still cannot believe that his Denver Bronc...
Read full storyDenver's Top Marijuana Shop Now Delivers Pot Via Drones
DENVER - According to the Colorado Department of Business, the top selling pot shop in the entire state is The Higher Than A Friggin Kite Marijuana Shop which is located in Denver. The top pot shop is owned by Gulliver Gingergrove, 38, and his wif...
Read full storyArkansas Outlaws Road Rage
LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas - Senator Philbert P. Washmeister [R-Hot Springs] has just met with the members of the news media and he has informed them about a very important piece of state legislation that has just been passed by the Arkansas State Senate.
Read full storyMost Colorado Marijuana Shops Have Added Top Shelf Marijuana To Their Shops
DENVER - Now that hundreds of pot shops have popped up all over the state of Colorado, many customers are asking for the better brand of marijuana. Ned and Ashlyn Buxworthy owners of Denver's The Magic Marijuana Mistress Pot Shop have said that th...
Read full storyThe Real Reason Why Toni Tennille of The Captain and Tennille Filed For Divorce
PRESCOTT, Arizona - The rock duo of The Captain and Tennille was married for 39 years when Toni decided to file for a divorce. Fans of Daryl "Captain" Dragon and his wife (Toni Tennille) were shocked since the two seemed to be as close to each oth...
Read full storyHorse meat found in Micro Pig value bacon nuggets
Tests on a major supermarket chain's Value Bacon Nuggets have revealed a micro horse meat content of between 20% and 30%, the Ministry of Food and Fisheries announced this morning. Sources of the meat have been located and are closed pending investi...
Read full storyGovernor Christie Negotiating A Presidential Pardon
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is negotiating a presidential pardon from President Barak Obama before Obama leaves office in 2016. As the drip, drip, drip of Christie's managerial practices are revealed: closing three lanes of the George Wash...
Read full storyTwenty Reasons Why Dogs Will Never Be Woman's Best Friend
1. The dog gets to spend more time with her man than the woman does. 2. Why have a dog as a best friend when your other choice is a diamond? 3. I don't know how to put the "crotch sniffing thing" gently. 4. Slobbering, drooling, barfing, peeing, pooping in the house. 5. Flatulence! 6. The dog always get to sit between the woman and the man in the front seat of the car. 7.
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