Twenty Reasons Why Dogs Will Never Be Woman's Best Friend

Funny story written by Wumf

Friday, 7 February 2014

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Man's Best Friend

1. The dog gets to spend more time with her man than the woman does.

2. Why have a dog as a best friend when your other choice is a diamond?

3. I don't know how to put the "crotch sniffing thing" gently.

4. Slobbering, drooling, barfing, peeing, pooping in the house.

5. Flatulence!

6. The dog always get to sit between the woman and the man in the front seat of the car.

7. The dog always gets to sleep between the woman and the man in bed.

8. Four pounds of hair in the tub after they are bathed.

9. Really, really, REALLY bad breath.

10. What was THAT they rolled in, in the back yard?

11. A friend brings her chihuahua over to visit and 65 days later the woman ends up with a litter of Chihuahuadoodle puppies she has to find homes for.

12. Begging for food.

13. That bag of dog food cost how much?

14. Not to mention, where are you supposed to PUT that huge bag of dog food?

15. That whole carpet butt rubbing thing - what is that all about?

16. Fourteen flats of recently planted flowers that have ALL been dug up.

17. FLEAS!

18. Soggy tennis balls.

19. Bone holes all over the yard.

20. When they die, they break your heart.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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