Chelsea Clinton's waters likely to burst on Labor Day

Funny story: Chelsea Clinton's waters likely to burst on Labor Day

New York - Amniotic Sac News reports that little babe Mezvinsky will be making its planetary debut next Monday care of a nifty c-section at New York's Seedy Sinai Mammorial. The hospital's entire presidential wing has been booked from this weekend...

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Obummer "bummed" on ISIS, but gung-ho on golf

WHITEWASHINGTON, AC/DC -- President Barack Obummer admits he's "bummed on ISIS." "When I tucked my executive tail between my presidential legs and high-tailed it out of Iraq, leaving that nation to the mercy of the merciless terrorists American me...

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Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

Funny story: Academics Confirm Scottish Shortbread Reserves Higher Than Westminster Predicts

A projection by industry body Biscuits UK that 24bn boxes of shortbread can be extracted from the North Sea is "plausible", two academics have said. The projection has been used by the Scottish government as part of its campaign for independence.Last...

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Ferguson Mayor Discusses Pending Swimsuit

Ferguson mayor James Knowles has finally begun discussing with journalists several pending swimsuits he intends to purchase, putting an end to media speculation about his intentions. "There's 22,000 residents in our community," Knowles told report...

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Hello Kitty abductor jailed

Funny story: Hello Kitty abductor jailed

A Tokyo man was jailed today for abducting the children's character Hello Kitty from a playground in Tokyo in May. The man Masahno Takakity had attempted to argue that his actions were justified as he was a scientist investigating the work of Erw...

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Ladies Formula One Grand Prix To Be Held in Gibraltar

Funny story: Ladies Formula One Grand Prix To Be Held in Gibraltar

Bernice Eccles, the diminutive Ladies Formula One boss is adamant that the race will go ahead in Gibraltar on December 1st. Bernice, fresh from victory in a French court case has fought for seven years to hold the race around the cordoned off "Round...

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The Signs Are Quite Clear

Decadence refers to deteriorated standards, morals, loss of dignity, indulgence in power, pleasure or luxury, sex, crime, lawlessness, loss of economic discipline due to the corruption of state officials', repulsive corrupt bureaucracy etc. Undoubtedly, in such a society we witness cultural decay: decline of education, the weakening of cultural foundations, loss of respect for tradition including...

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No Walking Stick After Six

The following story is based on real events, some of the names have been changed and changed back in order to confuse you of their identity. No elderly people were harmed in the telling of this story. Frail. Feeble. A stark contrast from their buoyant youth. Their bodies since rejected them. The inspector again signing off on their case. This wasn't living. It was simply existing. Betty had bat...

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Latest fad in body modification: customized nipples

Some folks think nipples are intrinsically sexy. Others think they're just plain gross. Whether one finds nipples appealing or appalling, she (or, for that matter, he) can now do something about it, thanks to Nipped in the Bud. "We customize your...

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Riot Ensues After 16 Solicitors Witness Train Wreck

Funny story: Riot Ensues After 16 Solicitors Witness Train Wreck

London, ENG. It was a feeding frenzy in London at the scene of an actual train wreck which happened in the vicinity of a popular solicitor watering hole. All of the solicitors swarmed upon the injured passengers, in some cases preventing first res...

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Huge Investment As Welsh Water Supplied To London Is To Contain Ice And Lemon

Funny story: Huge Investment As Welsh Water Supplied To London Is To Contain Ice And Lemon

Investors are clamouring to buy shares in Welsh Mixers P.L.C as news broke yesterday that gigantic Welsh reservoirs containing ice and lemon are to be commissioned in Snowdonia. An open "aquaduct" system will be built to supply London's Hoorah H...

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Breaking Bad Emmy Awards Lead To Blue Bath Salts Sales Explosion

Funny story: Breaking Bad Emmy Awards Lead To Blue Bath Salts Sales Explosion

Breaking Bad's recent Emmy award successes have led to people placing dishes of blue bath salts around the house to fool people into thinking they have millions of dollars worth of a certain substance about the house, a gossip columnist told our own...

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Ten Differences Between Australian Life And British Life

Funny story: Ten Differences Between Australian Life And British Life

New to Australia? Here's our survival guide for your "New life in the sun" : 1) Don't rush into the nearest bit of sea, a shark will kill you. 2) Don't valiantly remove a spider from your pretty neighbour's bath, it will sink its deadly fangs into you and you will have 20 minutes to get an antidote or or it will kill you. 3) Don't leave your baby in her pram while you sunbathe, Dingos (pois...

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