Ten Differences Between Australian Life And British Life

Written by Auntie Jean

Thursday, 28 August 2014

image for Ten Differences Between Australian Life And British Life
Venomous spiders found in baths and lavatories

New to Australia? Here's our survival guide for your "New life in the sun" :

1) Don't rush into the nearest bit of sea, a shark will kill you.
2) Don't valiantly remove a spider from your pretty neighbour's bath, it will sink its deadly fangs into you and you will have 20 minutes to get an antidote or or it will kill you.
3) Don't leave your baby in her pram while you sunbathe, Dingos (poisonous dogs) will drag away your child and then kill her.
4) Don't kick that snake away from your door, it will kill you.
5) Don't play in shallow water, a disease carrying mosquito will kill you.
6) Don't swim in a river, a freshwater alligator will kill you.
7) Don't swim in the sea, an alligator will kill you.
8) Don't sail a boat, a stingray will kill you.
9) Don't pick up a toad, it's sweat will kill you.
10) Don't sunbathe, the U.V. rays will kill you.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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