Michelle Obama had affair with Joe Biden and Beyonce is their hush-hush secret
Washington DC - A box of highly controversial documents once entrusted into Senator Ted Kennedy's safe keeping has come to light with the publication of an explosive new book about Beyonce Knowles. Published this week under the title 'Heavens, Kno...
Read full storySleep Number Beds Introduces Sex Number Line Of Mattresses For College Dorms
As college students return to campuses, many are springing for new mattresses. The biggest seller this year for the dorm room is the new Sex Number line from Sleep Number Beds. The Sex Number Beds have settings for the most common activities, inc...
Read full storyEvolution - European men get taller, their penises longer!
According to the latest evolutionist bullshit, European men have grown 11cm taller between 1870s and th 1980s. [Writers Note: Evolution, the notion that pond scum can turn into humans if left for long enough, is the unscientific claptrap which is...
Read full storyWidespread Cooties Outbreak Among School Kids
Hundreds of US elementary schools and daycare centers are reporting outbreaks of the devastating childhood disease Moribus Puerilibus, or MP, as kids return from their summer break. Commonly known as "cooties", MP symptoms include uncontrollable scr...
Read full storyTussaud's drama as Harry goes and "loves" himself
Prince Harry has incurred the wrath of his grandmother The Queen after a drunken argument with brother William ended in outlandish embarrassment. 'It all started last night over dinner at the Palace,' recounted Harry, from his hospital bed. 'Golde...
Read full storyBudget airline passenger-piss outrage
Boss of Irish budget airline Cryinair, Mick O'Weary, was hiding from the Press last night after a routine Customs check on one of its planes returned shocking findings. Occasionally we check the fuel on all commercial aircraft,' explained HMRC spo...
Read full storyCNN Accidentally Broadcasts an Actual News Event
In a departure from its usual practice of reporting possible events that have not occurred or may never take place, CNN broadcast an event that actually happened. Don Corleone, General Manager of the station, apologized to its viewers. "An investi...
Read full storySenator Grahamnesty Paints Grim Picture of Peace
In a town hall meeting here in the belly of the old Confederacy Senator Grahamnesty is all for making war against Syria to diminish its pharmaceutical industry and assist the rebels who have been stuck in a three-year humanitarian mission with Presid...
Read full storyA List of 10 Little Known Facts About Anthony Weiner
Anthony Weiner has probably provided more jokes for all of the late night talk shows than anyone or anything else this year. There is not a man, woman, or child who has not uttered the name Anthony Weiner at least once. And the Amalgamated Data Gathering Agency has stated that Jay Leno has said the word Weiner more than anyone else in America. As of September 6, Jay Leno has said the infamou...
Read full storyAlan Hansen announces retirement from Match of The Day
Stony faced Scot Alan McHansen has officially called time on his glorious decade and a half pundit career on BBC highlights show Match Of The Day. Hansen became known as a reliable defender for Liverpool and Scotland when both teams enjoyed their...
Read full story