Declaration of War takes on Palace Malice in Saturday's $5 million Breeders' Cup Classic
Santa Anita, Ca - Ireland's Aidan O'Brien-trained Declaration of war is a best priced 8/1 shot to take on this year's Belmont Stakes superstar Palace Malice in Saturday's renewal of the Breeders' Cup Classic. The four year-old son of War Front (US...
Read full storyNew York Car Thief Taught A Lesson
NYC Police told the press this morning that they had arrested one Howard Applegate for car theft after they got him out of the trunk while screaming to anyone he heard on the street to call 911. Applegate confessed that he was the person stripping...
Read full storyNY Times' Dowd Attacks Cheney Heart Donor
While the rest of the US media is engaged in a vigorous debate about Obamacare and whether President Obama lied to the American people or merely fibbed, obfuscated, misdirected, hiccoughed, glitched or used the word "period," when he meant instead to...
Read full storyHalloween fightback! - Pensioners encouraged to join in the fun!
In a recent campaign by Help The Fogies, pensioners are being encouraged to fight back against the youngsters who traditionally terrorise them under the guise of a 'bit of fun'. Traditionally, in America, Trick or Treat is where children and menac...
Read full storyHigh School Student Reprimanded at Halloween Dance for Julianne Hough Costume
A local high school student received reprimand upon attending a school sponsored Halloween dance dressed as "Julianne Hough dressed as 'Crazy Eyes' from Orange Is the New Black ." "I don't understand it," stated Rachelle E. Inconchiss, "It's not a...
Read full story10 Inexpensive Last Minute Halloween Costume Ideas
1. Wear a pair of vinyl boy shorts, stick some feathers in your ass - "Shakesgiving Twerky" 2. Stick a fork in your ass and say "I'm getting forked in the ass" 3. Keep all of your clothes on and go as an Unemployed Stripper. 4. Dress up as Julianne Hough dressed as "Crazy Eyes" from Orange Is the New Black ; When you're given grief for your decision, respond, "It's not racial. I'm dress...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston Admits She Still Despises Angelina Jolie
NEW YORK CITY - Jennifer Aniston appeared on The View and Barbara Walters asked her point blank if she still harbored any ill-feelings towards Angelina Jolie for stealing her then husband Brad Pitt away from her back in 2005. Aniston did not miss...
Read full storyUtah Issues A Very Strict Warning To Dick Cheney
SALT LAKE CITY, Utah - The state of Utah has just issued an extremely strict warning to former vice-president Dick Cheney. A spokesperson from the state attorney general's office has made Cheney aware of the fact that if he is caught in the posses...
Read full storyNBA Season Opens With LeBron James' Miami Heat Defeating The Chicago Bulls
MIAMI - The Miami Heat picked up right where they left off; in the winning column as they beat the Chicago Bulls 107-95 in the NBA season opener. LeBron James said that it felt great to be back on the floor and he told Rufus Reno with Sports Balls...
Read full storyKirstie Alley Sees A Vision of Leah Remini On Her Biscuit
BEVERLY HILLS - Kirstie Alley's obsession with insulting Leah Remini simply because she decided to leave the Church of The Scientific Method is starting to border on scariness. Alley has continued her one-woman lambasting of the former King of Que...
Read full storySan Francisco's Tax on Soda Met With Angry Protests
SAN FRANCISCO - The city of San Francisco has decided to try and do something about the growing number of overweight citizens. The city council plans on imposing a 2 cents per ounce tax on soda. Well needless to say that decision has met with a...
Read full storyO.J. Simpson Now Says He Fathered Kourtney, Kim, and Khloe Kardashian
LOVELOCK, Nevada - The most famous inmate at Lovelock Correctional Center, O.J. Simpson, has just dropped quite a bombshell. Speaking with Carolina Chipotle of Bedroom Pillow Talk in an isolated area of the prison facility the former NFL great mad...
Read full storyThe Tampa Bay Buccaneers Who Are Now 0-7 May Move One Of Their Home Games To Havana, Cuba
TAMPA BAY, Florida - Although the Buccaneers of Tampa Bay are winless with an 0-7 record they are not at the bottom of the entire NFL. That (dis)honor goes to the other Florida team, the Jacksonville Jaguars who are 0-8. A player who did not wa...
Read full storySnooki Polizzi Devastated At Being Eliminated From Dancing With The Stars
HOLLYWOOD - Snooki Polizzi was literally shocked when she heard Dancing With The Stars host Tom Bergeron say that she would be the one going home on the show's latest episode. Her eyes welled up with tears and she buried her face in dance partner...
Read full storyTina Fey Reveals She Cannot Stand Sarah Palin
PITTSBURGH - Tina Fey was in Pittsburgh visiting an aunt whom she had not seen in over a year. She was asked by National Focus Magazine if it was true that she is no longer speaking to Sarah Palin, whom she impersonated for a couple of years. F...
Read full storyChelsea Handler Advises Kirstie Alley To Stop Badmouthing Her Best Friend Leah Remini
HOLLYWOOD - Chelsea Handler, host of the talk show Chelsea Lately, is known as having an Omarosa type temper. The dishwater blonde, who looks like she could be Ann "Giddy Up" Coulter's little sister, has just taken out her claws. She expressed...
Read full storyFaymiss Screwd Up Kwotes In Histree
In the end it's not your life that counts. It's the file in your ears. - A. Bramm Linkend Heirs used to inaccurate da-da's are munchless, then used to no da-da at all. - Barles H. Cabbage If I decide that you're an idiot I'll be hitting you with my accordion. - Yo-Han "Say Bass-chin" Bock We are shaved by our thoughts. We come. We think. Never mind, whisper. Joey...
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