Child Avoids Trip to National Park
Eleven-year-old Ted Ews has narrowly avoided having to go on a Sunday trip with his family to Big Bend National Park, in Texas. "No," he shouted, stomping his foot, when his father, Barry, first voiced the idea during dinner the night before. "No.
Read full story"The Enlightenment... Reason Triumphing" - A New Movie
Hollywood Freemasons in a bid to spruce up their new image ... "we are not a secret society but a society with secrets"... and to mark their coming out of hiding after five centuries of back-room shenanigans, have financed and written a movie called "The Enlightenment". Despite psychotic editing and direction, loony tunes story line, atrocious acting, idiot dialogue and extravagantly corny s...
Read full storyA Chrisbus Cackle
Here are two long long Chrisbus lettuce Dir Simon Horp yore havving a spivving time in the countryside, we know that you are. Just a little spiggy about us. Dad's had a shave and is the usual chips off the old bloke he's always been, Mary really is a grate size now but we horpe she won't bust before you arrive. Josie needs embalming after her accident and Ken (minus tail) won a lorry full of...
Read full storyThe NRA's LaPierre Gets To See Obama's Bad Self
It was a phone call that President Obama didn't want to make, but he knew he would eventually have to. He also knew that it would do little good, but that it had to be made anyway. So, on Wednesday, he did. And he was right. "Good day, Mr. LaPierre. How are you doing today?" "Oh, I was OK until you called." "Well, I am sorry to hear that. I think it is time for us to have a little chat."...
Read full storyDiNozzo, McGee and Gibbs hotfoot it downtown amid Capitol Hill gunshots lock down
Washington DC - The sound of gunfire on Capitol Hill has seen the arrival of the same NCIS rapid response unit that secured the Washington Navy Yard on 16 September following a massacre that claimed 12 innocent lives. Special Agents Jethro Gibbs,...
Read full storyBoston Bomber and Gobshite Widow 'are kissing cousins' according to FBI report
New York - A compassionate grounds request for Boston Bomber Dzhokhar 'The Joker' Tsarnaev to travel to Nairobi, Kenya for a cousins's wedding has been turned down by Federal prosecutors on insanity grounds. Lawyers acting for Joker Tsaranev playe...
Read full storyDacre Exclusive Interview
Your fearless reporter has an exclusive today that will amaze many millions of people throughout the world. I received a call from a caller who said Lord Dacre would like to meet me for an interview. Naturally I dropped the washing up and sped to the suggested rendez-vous. The owner of the Daily Mali greeted me with a malt whisky which stimulated me. I began by asking why the Mali had decide...
Read full storyTom Brady's Playbook Looks Like His Songbook
ON THE ROAD TO PALOOKAVILLE- The New England Patriots hit the road again this weekend, Jack, and they may come back to Foxboro no more like an undefeated team. Week after week they have defied the odds and the oddsmakers. Some of their luck is owe...
Read full storyTineseltown Executives Leak Conceptual Premise For Upcoming "Breaking Bad" Spinoff
Rumors are a buzz since the recent finale of the popular television series Breaking Bad. There has been recent developments in Hollywood as reports have circulated regarding a possible spinoff. A major exective for the show, Ivan Crankie, confirm...
Read full storyThe Tampa Bay Buccaneers Are 0-4 and Their Stadium Hot Dog Vendors Are Now Selling Paper Bags
TAMPA BAY - The Buccaneers are struggling along with a 0-4 record and the powers that be along with the coaches are trying to figure out what the problem is. Head Coach Greg Schiano told The Turnstile Review that he has faith that his team won't g...
Read full storyTom Brady's Wife Gisele Bundchen Is Thrilled With The New England Patriots 4-0 Start
BOSTON - Gisele Bundchen, the wife of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady, told sports reporters covering the Pats that she cannot remember the last time she was this happy. She said that watching her husband's team start the season with four straight...
Read full storyX-Factor - Lillie McCloud, 51, Is The Early On Favorite
LOS ANGELES - The host of X-Factor, Mario Lopez is doing a bang up job and hardly anyone even remembers that Khloe Kardashian was his co-host last year. According to iRumors Khloe was fired because she really didn't bring much to the table (except...
Read full storySan Francisco 49ers Safety Changes His Name
SAN FRANCISCO - Donte Whitner, who is a safety with the 49ers has just paid $27.85 to legally change his last name. Whitner who is noted for his hard-hitting girdiron play told Sporting Chance Magazine that he decided to change his name after the...
Read full storyNew York Giants Fans Are Madder Than Wet Hens
NEW YORK - The Giants football team is off to a horrible start as they find themselves with an 0-4 record. And no one is madder than the die-hard fans of The Big Apple Giants. Vinnie Vestalino, who has been a Giants season ticket holder for 19...
Read full storyToddler Crossfit Classes Springing Up Around The Nation -"Tough Lil' Mudder" Competition Spawned
Crossfit, one of the latest fitness crazes in the last few years has gained popularity all over the nation. Now pint sized little power houses are able to join in on the craze by participating in the training as well. Toddler level crossfit classes...
Read full storyWho Needs a Medical Doctor When Brother Benny's In Town?
LAREDO, Texas - The whole ordeal was so surreal it was psychedelic and otherworldly. Pastor Benny Hinn's Everything's Bigger in Texas maxi-ministry tour knocked me off my crutches while it catapulted others out of their wheelchairs and off their life...
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