Mans Recent Discovery of the Meaning of Acronym "YOLO" Forces Him to Take Another Look at His "FML" Stance
BOREDVILLE, WI - "I found out from my oldest kid that YOLO means you only live once," stated James Sadzack Sr, 52, of Boredville, WI. "I found out the meaning of FML about three or four years ago," Sadzack went on to say, "and that's the mantra I'...
Read full storyAmerica closes down for October
America is closed. This is the main headline dominating the world today. All government websites have closed, allowing America's Most Wanted to travel about unnoticed. Whilst the world is interested, they would only get worried if Facebook and Tw...
Read full story"Second Coming" Come and Gone?
There was a brief moment of what can only be described as pandemonium yesterday near the Lincoln Memorial at Washington's National Mall. A man claiming to be Jesus of Nazareth was seen to walk barefoot across the Reflecting PooL scene of many a p...
Read full storyTory Party earthquake as Brit Top Knob goes bankrupt
London - A leading pillock - er...pillar! - of the British Establishment faces criminal bankruptcy charges following a £100m 10-year fraud that bankrolled his gargantuan celeb A-Lister pretensions. Yeah. Protected by a powerful smoke 'n' mirrors...
Read full story#IsItOK? - Questions you've wondered about, but never dared ask
Inspired by the Last Leg (a Channel 4 show hosted by Adam Hills), I've come up with a series of questions I've wondered about, but never dared ask... 1. Do any Sikhs wear a pre-wrapped turban, effectively a hat? 2. Would a Native American be allowed to be a Muslim, even though they can't grow a beard? 3. Can you tell a widow that you never really liked her husband anyway? 4. Do Jehovah's Wit...
Read full storyWiccan scorn as David Cameron boasts of baking bread made from 'smart' crop circle wheat flour
Los Angeles - A statement from the Supreme World Wiccan Council HQ has condemned UK leader David Cameron's suggestion that his home baked bread recipe has made him 'more intelligent'. The Brit Prime Minister has said he bakes his own daily loaves...
Read full storyConservative Conference Special
Please be advised that this story has been withdrawn due it not toeing the line with the fantasy that everything in the Britain is all lovely and rosy. Please be advised that any story about the Conservative Party Conference must first be checked...
Read full storyDinner for 9 at 9 with #9, Thanks to Rajon Rondo
GARDEN PARTY ON FOOD CHANNEL- The most elegant repast at the end of summer celebrated the start of Fall. Not since the Fall of the Roman Empire has there been such decadence in Boston. The Boston Celtics may have the biggest fall cuisine of any te...
Read full storyChina Recalls 17 Million Chopsticks
HONG KONG - China's national news agency, The Rick Shaw, is reporting that the Chinese government is in the process of recalling 17 million chopsticks. A spokesperson for The Rick Shaw stated that the problem with the chopsticks lies in the fact t...
Read full storyNina Dobrev Explains Why Kristen Stewart Will Never Appear On The Vampire Diaries
LOS ANGELES - Nina Dobrev, star of The Vampire Diaries, has on several occasions made it known that she does not care one bit for Kristen Stewart. Dobrev explained that her feelings go back several years when K-Stew first started working on the fi...
Read full storyBorder Patrol Agents In Arizona Find 43 Illegal Aliens Crammed Into A KIA Spectra
NOGALES, Arizona - Border Patrol agents in the Nogales sector have reported that they stopped a car 17 miles north of the border that was traveling at a high rate of speed. The car, a 2006 KIA Spectra appeared to have four flat tires. But when age...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Names A North Korean Missile After His Pal Dennis Rodman
PYONGYANG, North Korea - The Rice Paddy News Agency is reporting that Kim Jong Un has just said that he has named his latest missile after his BFF former NBA star Dennis Rodman. The North Korean leader said that he purchased the missile from Finla...
Read full storyIntimate Pix of Paris Hilton's Bikini Line Reveal A Hint of Cellulite
BEVERLY HILLS - Reports coming out of Tinsel Town are that the celebutante who is known for doing absolutely nothing is feeling very depressed and melancholy. According to Taffeta Kixx with The Gossipette Gazette, Paris is positively devastated at...
Read full storyBrooklyn Mob Boss Tells Kirstie Alley To Stop Messing With Leah Remini
BROOKLYN - Salvatore Goombalini, the head of the notorious Goombalini family, has issued a message to Kirstie Alley and the other members of the Church of The Scientific Method. The Brooklyn Mob boss stated in no uncertain terms that Alley better...
Read full storyChicharito Buys Cheryl Cole A $12.7 Million Hacienda In Cabo San Lucas, Mexico
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Mexico's super star soccer player Javier Hernández Balcázar, known as Chicharito, has just revealed that he has purchased a luxurious hacienda overlooking Cabo San Lucas. The $12.7 million hacienda was originally owned by...
Read full storySenator Ted Cruz Has Been Told That President Obama Will Be Watching Him Like A Hawk
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The political circles in the nation's capital are brimming with talk about the man who has just become a persona non grata in the eyes of President Obama. Ted "The Mouth" Cruz thought he was being real cute when he went on and o...
Read full storyThe Pittsburgh Steelers Fans Are So Upset At Their Teams 0-4 Record They Could Eat Iron
PITTSBURGH - Word out of Pittsburgh is that the concession stands at Heinz Field are going to start selling Loser Hot Dogs in honor of the team's 0-4 start. The head of the Steelers concession stands said that this is being done in hopes of embarr...
Read full storyTish Cyrus: I Did Not Raise My Daughter Miley To Be An Exhibitionist
BEVERLY HILLS - Several entertainment publications and news agencies are reporting that at least Tish Cyrus, mother of Miley Cyrus, appears to be the one family member who still has some common sense left. Speaking with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tat...
Read full storyMichigan Locals Outraged Over Repeal of Bumper Sticker Laws
A Michigan law enacted in 1929 made it illegal to display a bumper sticker for any group that you're not actually a part of. Earlier in the week, the Michigan House of Representatives unanimously voted to repeal the bizarre and long-unenforced la...
Read full storyIrate Gorilla Evicted from Dallas Zoo: First Interview
In case you keep in touch with the 23-year-old gorilla, Patrick, formerly of the Dallas Zoo, be advised that you should record a change of address. He's moving to South Carolina. Gail Farrelly, a Science & Technology reporter at TheSpoof.co...
Read full storyRajon Rondo Returns for Another Season
BOSTON TD GARDEN, EAST OF EDEN- Boston Celtics media day is always an event filled with superfluous details, except to the trained alchemist eye that knows how to turn dross into gold. Rajon Rondo is back in rare form. He knocked the cockeyed p...
Read full storySchool district bans students from asking questions in class
Mercer County, N.J. - In an effort to increase standardized test scores and prevent a state takeover, a New Jersey school district has banned its students from asking questions in class. A letter from the superintendent announcing the ban was post...
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