Amanda Bynes Hopes Topless Photo Tweet Will Finally Draw Attention Of Heterosexual Mankind
HOLLYWOOD, CA - "What does a girl have to do to get noticed in this town?!" Those are the words of wisdom accompanying Amanda Bynes' recently ghostwritten tweet of a photograph exposing her pleasantly voluptuous milky white breasts to the greater so...
Read full storyChevron opens Moon regional HQ
Pennsylvania - Newly acquired lunar oil field rights mean the San Ramon-based super major needs a new regional headquarters office campus a Chevron source said today. And next month the company will be starting up its newbuild-in-the-sky according...
Read full storyCalling Dr. Jordan Crawford, Head Case Proctologist
Noted proctologist and expert in choke holds, Jordan Crawford, the latest irritant in the Celtics universe, seems to have diagnosed a major hole in the game of the New York Knicks. Being a friendly sort, Crawford tried to give a prognosis to Carme...
Read full storyTextile retailers demand higher prices after building collapses in Bangladesh!
Yet another disaster hit poor Bangladesh causing over 400 deaths and many more injuries; a clothing factory collapsed! Not only do global clothing conglomerates ignore the basic requirements of their "slave" workers, they also continue to ignore basi...
Read full storyDivorce Possible in Cubs and Wrigley Field Spat
CHICAGO-After nearly a century of blissful failure in their marriage, the city of Chicago and their beloved Cubbies may be coming apart at the baseball seams. Threats of divorce with no settlement are always a bad sign when the bickering couple ha...
Read full storyPrisoners to be stripped under new jail reforms
The Justice Secretary has today announced prison reforms in a bid to cut down waiting lists. Prisoners will no longer automatically receive perks such as clothing and absorbent toilet paper. Initially the prisoners will have to parade naked under...
Read full storyPresident Obama To Visit North Korea
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has given in to some of his advisers and he will be making a trip to Pyongyang, North Korea to meet with Kim Jong Un. The president said that he had been invited to be the guest of the North Korean leader two wee...
Read full storyDemi Moore Has Not Quite Learned Her Lesson
BEVERLY HILLS - Family members and close friends of Demi "The Cougar" Moore fear that the elderly actress is once again setting herself up for disappointment and eventual failure in the romance department. Moore who is in the process of divorcing...
Read full storySarah Palin Admits She Hates Not Being In The National Spotlight
WASILLA, Alaska - There is probably no one more depressed in the United States than the former governor or Alaska, Sarah "Snowflake" Palin. According to her husband Todd, Sarah has been so despondent ever since she was fired from her cush job at F...
Read full storyDwight Howard Says It Will Probably Be Bye Bye To Lakers LaLaLand
LOS ANGELES - Dwight Howard is one of the most hot-tempered players in the NBA. He has been known to shout at the Laker Girls Cheerleaders if he feels that they are not cheering hard and loud enough. Howard has even gone up to the number one Laker...
Read full storyKim Jong Un: Honey Boo Boo Is My Favorite American Actress
PYONGYANG, North Korea - Kim Jong Un has publicly stated that his favorite American is Dennis Rodman, the former NBA rebounding champion. And now North Korea's Rice Paddy Whack National News Agency has just revealed that Kim Jong Un's second favor...
Read full storyApple Announces Their New Corporate Name
CUPERTINO, California - A representative with Apple Inc. has just informed the news media that the consumer electronics giant will be changing their company name. Toby Columbus Pittypacker, 49, explained that after months of inner-corporate debati...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Reportedly Has Nude Photos of Ann Coulter
NEW YORK CITY - After insisting that he has never seen naked photos of Ann Coulter, much less possessed any, it appears that the Republican radio talk show host may be on the verge of changing his tune. According to American Spotlight Magazine the...
Read full storyParis Hilton Blames Her Downward Spiraling Career on Lindsay Lohan
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - The Hollywood rich girl who likes to pride herself in being one of Tinsel Town's top celebutantes, Paris Hilton is trying to get back into the celluloid spotlight. It is no secret that Hilton thoroughly resents all of the extensi...
Read full storyAmerican Idol Fined For Its Extremely Blatant Product Placement
HOLLYWOOD - The California Communications Commission has informed the producers of American Idol that they are going to be issued a fine. CCC spokesperson Athena "Cupcakes" Cuppatori, 57, stated that the producers had been warned about their blata...
Read full storyAnna Megan Raley Considered To Be The Meanest Woman In America Has Been Fired!
HOUSTON - Anna Megan Raley has learned a very valuable lesson - and that is to never, ever mess with a woman's weight. American Spotlight Magazine reporter Cutter Shiloh stated that Raley is a perfect example of someone who has a blog and thinks t...
Read full storyRare 1945 Jack Benny Plastic Penny Sells for Record 200 Million
Jack Benny should be rolling in his grave, not so much about the news that a rare 1945 Jack Benny plastic penny that he once owned just sold for 200 million dollars at auction, but more to the fact that rolling in one's grave is free. The coin, th...
Read full storyKnicks Faint at Graveside of Celtics
The New York Knicks have a macabre sense of humor, with all the players arriving at Madison Square Garden dressed in black. They looked like that little Dickens of a David Copperfield leading a funeral procession. We almost expected to hear Johnny...
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