White House Uncertain of which Line Crossed, Obama Possibly Colorblind
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Barack Obama, in an impromptu press conference in August of 2012, vowed that the United States would intervene to end Syria's then eighteen-month massacre should President Bashar Al-Assad use chemical weapons, saying, "We...
Read full storySemi-humorous True Life Bear Encounters
BEAR #1- Returning from an over night kayaking trip out in the islands near where I was working I had a short margin of time to get through a narrow pass between an island and the mainland before it got too shallow to paddle through even in a kayak. Glacier Bay was famous for having 20 to 25 foot tidal changes at times. I missed my margin by at least a half hour. I now had a ten hour wait be...
Read full storyKate Middleton garden gnome caught in lewd shagging act at Chelsea Flower Show
London - The Queen's practically had a heart attack at the news that a Kate Middleton garden gnome 'looking like it had swallowed a mouthful' was found in a state of flagrente delicto at a Chelsea Flower Show preview party. Modeled on pregnant roy...
Read full storyPolice have 'new leads' in Peppa Pig disappearance
Portuguese police says they have new leads to pursue in the case of missing toddler Peppa Pig. Peppa, who disappeared in mysterious circumstances in 2007, has not been since since she and her parents were holidaying in Praia da Luz. Various theo...
Read full storyGronk & Edelman Take Off for Vegas with Stowaways
Rob Gronkowski and Julian Edelman know how to plan a weekend. They threw open the door and seats on a private jet to Las Vegas to any fan with the wherewithal to pay for the privilege. Four fans will be allowed to party as a prep to Gronk's impend...
Read full storyKim Taeyeon: "I hate Justin Bieber"
Looks like we know who's NOT going to be a Belieber. Taeyeon, the leader of the Korean Pop group Girls' Generation, has recently stated that she has no interest in Justin Bieber. The 24 year old singer has spoken out, stating that "Justin Bieber h...
Read full storyKim Jong Un Fires Off 3 Missiles - All 3 Land In A North Korean Rice Paddy
PYONGYANG, North Korea - North Korean leader Kim Jong Un AKA Butterball Boy, arrogant as ever has announced that he launched three missiles from a launching pad in Pyongyang. Chung Duck Ho, the spokesman for North Korea's Rice Paddy Whack National...
Read full storyKat Von D's Body Has Finally Run Out of Tattoo Room
REDONDO BEACH - Kat Von D who was at one time supposed to have married fellow tattoo enthusiast Jesse James has revealed what many knew was coming sooner or later. Miss Von D told Tittle Tattle Tonight reporter Tapioca Swizzle that she has flat ru...
Read full storyNew York Jets Quarterback Mark Sanchez Says He Better Be The Jets Starting QB Or Else
NEW YORK CITY - Veteran Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez will be competing with four other players for the starting quarterback position. It was five until Tim Tebow was released due to the fact that the Jets organization could no longer handle the e...
Read full storyNASA To Sue The Netherland Antilles
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The National Aeronautics Space Administration is reportedly in the process of suing the Netherland Antilles. According to NASA spokesperson General Langston P. Kokomo, the space administration has learned that the government of...
Read full storyLindsay "Rehab" Lohan Illegally Buys A Bottle of Beer For $19
LOS ANGELES - A source who works at The Henry & Betty Ford Clinic in Rancho Mirage has told Bedroom Pillow Talk that Lindsay Lohan (patient #73013) wants to leave the rehab center so bad she can taste it. The source stated to BPT's Carolina Ch...
Read full storyNew Mexico Bans Piñatas
SANTA FE - In a move that has really angered many parents and pleased others, the senate of the state of New Mexico has just banned piñatas by a vote of 23-19. For anyone who may not know exactly what piñatas are, they are containers made out of c...
Read full storyNina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder Say Their Vampire Sux Bar & Grill Is Doing Fantastic!
HOUSTON - Nina Dobrev and Ian Somerhalder traveled down to Houston to check on The Vampire Sux Bar & Grill, which they bought from the Dixie Chicks back in February of 2012. Somerhalder said that business is booming at the establishment that t...
Read full storyDavid Beckham Retires - Says He Will Appear On Next Season's Dancing With The Stars
NEW YORK CITY - Sports Balls Illustrated Daily has announced that soccer star David Beckham has retired. Beckham played his last game with Paris Saint Germains and was on the winning side as PSG defeated Brest 3-1. The 38-year-old said that he...
Read full storySpock Had Ears Re-pointed by Plastic Surgery
And that's not all. He admits to a brow lift as well! Finally coming clean, the Vulcan confirmed the surgery rumors last night at a hastily called press conference at Grand Central Station in NYC. "This is the most exciting trip home I've e...
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