News Anchor Wolf Blitzer Accused of Lying About His Sleep Number Setting

Funny story written by Ducksley

Thursday, 31 January 2013

CNN announced today the network has suspended Wolf Blitzer, host of the news program The Situation Room after he allegedly lied about his Sleep Number setting.

"Wolf has told other correspondents and members of the public on numerous occasions that his Sleep Number was 45, when, in fact, it's 60," said CNN Director of News Operations Glynnis Longhofer.

"In this business, credibility is key, and we won't tolerate deception on the part of our employees," she added.

Blitzer, who was clearly unnerved by the suspension, denied that he lied, explaining that his mattress has a slow leak requiring him to increase the Sleep Number beyond the desired 45 setting.

His voice cracking with emotion, Blitzer said, "I acknowledge that I should have patched the leak, but I honestly wasn't trying to deceive anyone."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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