Blair-Putin Laughing Gas Co behind Syrian mass hypochondria
New York - UN substance abuse inspectors have identified a whiff of something toxic coming out of a charity supplying recreational helium to the Syrian Arab Republic. The not-for-prophet Blair-Putin Laughing Gas Company is being investigated for w...
Read full storyAssad gets a bonus of 10 days to continue massacre!
Raging maniac Bashal al-Assad, has been given a further 10 days to kill as many of his civilians in a surprise turn of events. Hot on the heels of the UK condoning his tyranical behaviour, the US has also decided to wait until September the 9th to...
Read full storyObama: Causing A Few Explosions In The Midst Thousands of Other Explosions Will Send A Clear Message
President Obama announced today that in order to maintain credibility in the Middle East the U.S. will cause a few explosions in the war-torn country of Syria. These carefully planned and executed explosions, which may number in the tens if not d...
Read full story"Show Who Is Boss" - Democrats Urge Obama to Nuke Syria
WASHINGTON DC - After being hassled over "leading from behind" and trivial matters like having an ambassador murdered as an embassy burned to the ground, Democrats want President Obama to "step up" and command the respect that he deserves. In simple...
Read full storyA Delaware Woman Arrested For Flying A Drone Over The White House
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Kay Duffgrumble, 62, of Smyrna, Delaware went to Washington, D.C. to check out the various landmarks and she ended up in a heap of trouble as they say down in Mississippi. Mrs. Duffgrumble, who was divorced in March of this year...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's Automotive Luck Finally Runs Out
LOS ANGELES - Well it looks like Canadian singer Justin Bieber's automotive luck has finally run out. The 19-year-old singer was stopped in Calabasas at 4:31 a.m. for failure to properly stop at a stop sign. The officer who pulled him over stat...
Read full storyMajor League Baseball Mascot Reprimanded For Failing Performance Enhancing Drug Test
NEW YORK CITY - The Performance Enhancing Drug Scandal is really getting out of hand and it has now reached a new level or rather depth. Major League Baseball has just announced that one of the team mascots has tested positive for performance enha...
Read full storyAn 8-Year-Old School Boy Finds A Top Secret CIA Document at A Dairy Queen In Queens
QUEENS, New York - Little 8-year-old Howie Buttonbitty has always said that he is very lucky at finding things. When he was just 5-years-old he found an old Civil War cavalry sword that had belonged to Confederate General Stonewall Jackson. An...
Read full storyLiam Hemsworth Shocked At Ex-Fianceé's Miley Cyrus' MTV Music Video Awards Vulgar Performance
LOS ANGELES - Liam Hemsworth who ended his engagement to Miley Cyrus several months ago said he could not believe his eyes as he watched the 2013 MTV Music Video Awards Show which were held in the Barclay Center in Brooklyn. Hemsworth said that wh...
Read full storyStolen LAPD car recovered safely
A stolen LAPD marked vehicle was recovered from an address in Laguna Hills today, LAPD officers say. Officers Pete Malloy and James Reed were on routine patrol in Laguna Hills when they spotted the marked vehicle with two boys dressed as LAPD offi...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney and Sandra Bullock Lock Lips At Lake Como
NEW YORK CITY - The word filtering out of Italy is that George Clooney and Sandra Bullock have become quite close on their movie promotion trip to Italy. Clooney and Bullock traveled to Venice to promote their latest movie Gravity. But as local...
Read full storyPresident Obama Suggests A New Gun Control Proposal
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Obama has vowed to meet the anti-gun control groups somewhere in the middle of the very heated gun control debate. The president has said that he has consulted half a dozen of his most trusted advisers and he believes...
Read full storyLamar Odom Is Going Downhill At A High Rate of Speed
HOLLYWOOD - Lamar Odom has had more than his share of ups and downs. In fact his father-in-law Bruce Jenner is beginning to call him the Elevator Man. Odom, who is married to Khloe Kardashian, has admitted to carousing around with at least half a...
Read full storySgt Joe Friday helps crack down on mallrats
Sgt Joe Friday, LAPD, returned to duty today along with his partner Bill Gannon and a friend from the Queensland Police Service to help crack down on mall rats. Over 100 mall rats were arrested in the week-long crackdown with several of them reman...
Read full storyJohn Boehner Signs John McCain into Sundog Alzheimer's Center
APALACHICOLA, Fla. - House Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) today signed into a long-term Alzheimer's center long-established Arizona Senator John McCain. When asked why he did it, the terse and taciturn Boehner quipped, "It was a Republican thing to do.
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