Al Qaeda Eliminates its Number 2 Position
Al Qaeda has announced they will no longer have a number 2 following the death of Said al-Shihri who was hanging out at the Al Qaeda Local 42 in Yemen, when he was hit by a US terrorist seeking missile. Said was just about to give a humorous speech...
Read full storyLib Dems dream of Parelection Gold
In the wake of the inspirational Paralympics, Nick Clegg has called for a 'Parelection' following the next General Election, to provide a level playing field for politicians of all abilities. "It isn't fair that the same big parties win everything", Clegg said, with a sad face. Vince cable has begun training in anticipation, and is already tipped to win gold in the 'toe-curling dance' event.
Read full storyLocal man called up for Jury Disservice
A man has declined to take part in jury service after sensationally admitting he doesn't hold the British Justice System in high regard. He didn't seem to realise that nobody in the country does and people regularly take jury service purely to be nos...
Read full storyAmerican Pickers to be filmed in the North West
Council estate gardens in Oldham, Moston and Stalybridge to be picked. The hit TV show American Pickers is filming a new series in the UK, and this reporter has been given access to the filming of one of the episodes. The series will be filmed in some of Manchester, Oldham and Tameside's famous grot spots, and will involve the stars of the show Mike Wolfe and Frank Fritz trawling through rubb...
Read full storyNation's 11-year-olds have always lived like this, adults realize
NEW YORK, NY--As the nation commemorates the 11th anniversary of the September 11 attacks, a coalition of adults have stepped forward to announce their concerns that the nation's 11-year-olds have grown up believing that the uncertain and gloomy...
Read full storyDefiant Local Man Sets Up Home On Cemetery Bench
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, last night reportedly had set up a temporary abode on a bench in Titchfield Cemetery, following a horrendous argument with long suffering wife, Anne, regarding the appropriate applications available for 'real' gravy, as...
Read full storyScot, Andy Murray, is British especially after winning the US open!
Aftr a brilliant performance ending in a magnificent win for super-Scot, Andy Murray, at the US open, Britain have decide to adopt him, but Andy doesn't want to be a Brit because he's Scottish. Greg Rusedzki also represented Britain at tennis, but...
Read full storyElvis Presley's Underpants don't get a sniff
Yesterday, Elvis Presley's Bible and a pair of his underpants went under the hammer at Sothebys. Unsurprisingly, the stained pair of undies failed to sell while the Bible sold for a staggering 50,000 pounds. The underpants are sealed in a glass case...
Read full storyGendarmes fear Alps 'copycat hitman' has struck in Corsica
Corsica - Is a crazed copycat hitman behind today's fatal shooting of three people in a car on the island of Corsica? French police sources say the killings 'are spookily similar' to last week's drive-by shooting of UK-based Iraqi telecoms special...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments 10th September 2012
England and Manchester City midfielder James Milner, 26, says his Yorkshire grit fuels his determination to succeed. (Daily Mail) Yorkshire grit, tea-bags and yorkshire puddings. Ukraine coach Oleg Blokhin has banned his players from watching videos of World Cup qualifier opponents England's 5-0 win over Moldova - in case they are intimidated. (Daily Mirror) If they go on the pitch thinking...
Read full storySidebar of Shame Throwaway Celebrity Gossip 11th September 2012
Kim Kardashian's mum tells Kanye West : Stop talking about my daughter's sex tape. And make a new one? I think everyone has seen the last one by now. Coronation Street barmaid star Michelle Keegan: I'm genuinely not sexy. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder? EASTENDERS star Tony Discipline has said that Jessie Wallace's character Kat Moon could be having an affair with a WOMAN. KIm Ka...
Read full storyAndy Murray wins US Open - late finish leaves media confused
The late finale of the US Open Tennis Final caused confusion in British media last night when the 2.10am finish caused tired reporters stuck on auto-pilot from the Parylympic coverage and Athletes parade to churn out the wrong facts. The Stun news...
Read full storyAndy Murray thanks coach for US Open and Olympic triumph
Newly crowned US Open tennis champion Andy Murray last night thanked his coach, former 80s tennis star Ivan Lendl for his winning streak which saw Murray pick up a Gold medal for beating Roger Federer in the Olympic Tennis at Wimbledon, and today his...
Read full storyRomney Proposes new One Million Dollar Bill
Tampa - A discarded copy of Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's acceptance speech from Tampa shows that he would pursue the creation of a new One Million Dollar Bill if elected President. A copy of the speech, found in a dumpster out...
Read full storyMLB Suspects Watergate Leaks in Boston Pipeline
Calling the Plumbers! The Red Sox waiver wire sprung a leak in August. And now MLB wants to order a sump pump to dredge out the Sox front office. Someone not named Gordon Liddy may be responsible. August in Boston featured more leaks than t...
Read full storyGuy Who Picked Sarah Palin for VP Wishes He Did Not Say "Train Wreck" to Describe Anything
Mere seconds after telling reporters yesterday in Cernobbio, Italy that President Obama's Iran policy was a "train wreck," failed 2008 Presidential candidate John McCain who selected Sarah Palin to be his VP running mate regretted using the term.
Read full storyHoney Boo Boo's Mama Tells Kris Jenner To Kiss Her Redneck Rump
HOLLYWOOD - The mother of the Kardashian sisters, Kris Jenner has just attacked little Honey Boo Boo and her mother June "Mama" Shannon. Kris, who is married to Bruce "Stone Face" Jenner told The Tinsel Town Times Tribune that she cannot believe t...
Read full storyStacy Keibler Issues A Warning To Elisabetta Canalis
BEVERLY HILLS - George Clooney broke up with Italian model Elisabetta Canalis because she wanted to have half a dozen children and he didn't. Canalis also wanted for Clooney to leave the Hollywood limelight and move to her native Italy where they...
Read full storyPink Says Miley Cyrus Stole Her Hairdo
VENICE BEACH - The singer known as Pink is reportedly very angry at Miley Cyrus. Pink, who just turned 33, on September 8, was celebrating her birthday down at Venice Beach. She was wearing an extremely small bikini swimsuit that had white cros...
Read full storySimon Cowell's Meltdown
LOS ANGELES - Simon Cowell is a very private individual who does not like to give interviews. But he did sit down recently with Pico de Gallo of Tittle Tattle Tonight. De Gallo asked the man known as The Sultan of Sarcasm how many T-shirts he has.
Read full storyAfter US Open, Manhattan to Return to Not Giving a Crap About Queens for 50 Weeks
NEW YORK, Sept. 10 -- Following the captivating final match ending fifteen days of mind-boggling athleticism and heart-stopping drama at the US Open in Flushing Meadows, the borough of Manhattan will return to not giving a crap about the borough of Q...
Read full storyDonald Trump Demands To See Mitt Romney's Income Tax Returns
MANHATTAN - Donald Trump recently stated that he is not at all happy with the GOP choice of Mitt Romney as the Republican candidate to go up against President Obama. Trump told Political Salad Bar Magazine that he would have much preferred either...
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