In the wake of the inspirational Paralympics, Nick Clegg has called for a 'Parelection' following the next General Election, to provide a level playing field for politicians of all abilities.
"It isn't fair that the same big parties win everything", Clegg said, with a sad face.
Vince cable has begun training in anticipation, and is already tipped to win gold in the 'toe-curling dance' event. Nigel Farage however, is expecting stiff competition in his favoured event, the tosspot dressage.
Dame Tanni-Grey Thompson is currently unavailable for comment, after reportedly rejecting Clegg's offer to be a 'champion' for the Parelection. A spokesman from LOCOG is quoted as telling Clegg that "no Paralympic athlete will ever be as lame as any of your lot".
The BBC have already vowed to ban broadcast of the defiant anthem 'Drasticus Economicus' (penned by Gordon Brown and George Osborne, disadvantaged politicians from mainstream parties), as being 'too close to the bone'.
The proposed Parelection logo has already caused some unease for "looking a bit too much like Bart and Lisa Simpson bribing one another".
