MLB Suspects Watergate Leaks in Boston Pipeline

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

Calling the Plumbers! The Red Sox waiver wire sprung a leak in August.

And now MLB wants to order a sump pump to dredge out the Sox front office.

Someone not named Gordon Liddy may be responsible.

August in Boston featured more leaks than the Fenway Park men's room.

The flushing sound you hear is the evidence going down the chute one more time.

Many Red Sox players, from Jacoby Ellsbury and Jon Lester to Adrian Gonzalez and Daisuke Matsuzaka, found themselves walking the waiver wire over Niagra Falls without a net.

There is nothing more disconcerting to a manager like Bobby Valentine than to be questioned about a waiver report that was not leaked to him.

In one of his many press conferences where Bobby V blabbed his usual vitriol, he professed ignorance only on one area: the waiver wire.

Bud Selig's crack team of pluggers may stop up the leaks a month after the pipes burst.

Speculation on who in the Sox may be responsible runs the gamut from batboys to the brick salesmen. Reporters who benefited from the secret information may find themselves facing the Chinese Water Torture test, drip by drip.

If Rupert Murdoch can be excoriated for publishing leaks, then the Boston TV media must be reaching for the off spigot before they too become revealed as tabloid talkers with diarrhea of the mouth.

When pipes burst in Boston, you can expect Storrow Drive to be backed up, preventing an exodus of fans from Fenway Park.

In a season when every metaphor that could be applied has been applied, the Red Sox have now reached their nadir: it's baseball's Watergate.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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