Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth Have Zombie Virus, Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley Don't, Donald Trump Demands To See Zombie Birth Certificate
Just two days after it was reported that the "Zombie" virus was not actually a virus, it now turns out that a myriad of non descript "celebrities" whom I have never heard of, have contracted the non-existent virus and are now mindless, flesh eating i...
Read full storyPresident Obama Warns Donald Trump To Drop The Birth Certificate Issue Or Risk Being Deported
PEACHTREE CITY, Georgia - President Obama was in Savannah speaking in the Peach Pit Auditorium before a gathering of the Retired Peach Pickers of Peachtree City. He told them that he was proud of the tremendous job that they had done and told them...
Read full storyMichelle Obama Was Close To Going Down On Ellen DeGeneres: But No Cigar
BILLINGSGATE POST - I suppose if it didn't happen at a party hosted by Ellen DeGeneres and the guests weren't predominantly card carrying gay and lesbian Democrats, President Obama's joke about Michelle not going all the way down on Ms. DeGeneres mig...
Read full storyThe Seaton Carew Diaries: Thursday 7th June 2012
Well, I had some blinding news this week, real fucking blinding. I don't have a fuel card for my company car, but I can claim back my business miles. Now this might sound good, but if I only drive to the office and back from Monday to Friday then I travel 700 miles and all of them 700 miles are personal and therefore I cannot claim. But, you are probably thinking, when you do business miles the...
Read full storyShuttlecock Row Divides Dorking Seat Of Learning
The University of Dorking has been rocked by a controversy that threatens to have major repercussions for one of its prestige Departments, writes Storm In A Teacup Correspondent, Will Slather. This controversy, which threatens major repercussions,...
Read full storyMs Verity Warbling-Trollblog To Join Skoob Entertainment News
The world's most widely read purveyor of entertainment and gossip news, Ms Verity Warbling-Trollblog, has announced that as of today, she is no longer employed by 'Huzzah For Hollywood!' magazine, having been successfully headhunted by Skoob Entertai...
Read full storyOchocinco Keeps on Smiling and Keeps Us Smiling
Adios, Ochocinco. The Patriots have seen the lantern in the steeple, and your horse has left without you. Happy Trails to you until we meet again. We harbor no ill will toward the player who disappointed so many New England Patriots fans. He was a...
Read full storyLarry Hagman and Patrick Duffy 'outed as Spoof writers'
Los Angeles - "Nobody wanted to screw with the iconic nature of the Spoof website,' Larry Hagman said tonight, "but we saw a unique opportunity and ran with the ball." The 80 year-old star was commenting on reports that he and his fellow Dallas...
Read full storyThe Kindred Spirit App Helps Find Soulmates
Jake Stephens, upon the success of the Crazam app he debuted last fall, has moved out of his parent's basement and into his girlfriend's apartment and developed his new app called Kindred Spirit. The Kindred Spirit is different than the Crazam ap...
Read full storyPoverty-Stricken Christian Boy Asks God to Let Him Out By Side of Road
After his father was laid off from his construction job and his family became forced to subsist on food stamps and public assistance, eight-year-old Chris Peterson of Augusta, Georgia, prayed to God, specifically requesting that he be let out by the...
Read full storyMorrissey Over The Moon About Joey Barton England Call Up
The whole of England has been stunned tonight by the shock call up to the England team of Morrissey's favourite Bad Boy, QPR Player, Joey Barton. It follows the shock departure of Damien Defoe, who in a past life wrote an excellent book about a p...
Read full storyCorporate Buddhism Training Helps Employees Understand that Job Dissatisfaction and Malaise Are Actually Nirvana
"Mindfulness," a concept with its roots in Buddhism, has become a catch-word in many corporate environments. Benjamin Robinson, President and CEO of the New York City-based marketing firm Market-Based Marketing ("MBM"), has also implemented many othe...
Read full storyLeprechauns' gas fracking blamed for Irish quake
Co Mayo, Eire - Irish Seismological Survey sources said today they've received reports blaming the Wee People's fracking activities for yesterday's 4-magnitude rattler. The tremor struck some 23km south-south-east off the Corrib Gas Field operated...
Read full storyCarrie Underwood Wins 2 CMT Music Awards And Addresses The Brad Paisley Rumors
NASHVILLE - Toby Keith and Kristen Bell hosted this year's edition of Country Music Television's Music Awards. The event was held at Nashville's Bridge Over Troubled Water Arena and included televised videos from President Obama, Mitt Romney, and...
Read full storyUS Blames Pakistan for "Zombie" Virus
US officials are citing Pakistan as being responsible for unleashing the "Zombie" virus that has so far infected over 500 people, the first case being reported in Miami four weeks ago. Originally it was the thought the virus could have originated...
Read full storyBin Laden's Head Packed in Dry Ice and Secured at Fort Knox
Unconfirmed reports are alluding that the head of former Al Queda leader Osama Bin Laden is being held in a secure vault at Fort Knox, Texas, packed in dry ice. This is contradictory to reports that his body was dumped at sea, however the Depart...
Read full storyElvis robot to be created
SAN DIEGO - Elvis may not be alive now, but if his band has their way, he will be rejoining them by 2014. According to Japanese scientist Yohounddoe Otatiem, a robot that will be indistinguishable from Elvis at a distance of 10 meters will be ready...
Read full storySmurf Pest Hunted By Gloucester Police
Police are hunting a man who has been pestering women at a rural beauty spot dressed as a Smurf. The man has been seen on several occasions wearing a blue, skin-tight Morphsuit and face paint. He runs up to women and performs star jumps in fron...
Read full storyUK Interest Rates Left Unchanged
The Bank of England has once again left UK interest rates unchanged and announced no expansion to its quantitative easing (QE) programme. Rates have now been held at the current record low for more than three years. "We're just not that bothere...
Read full storyUrgent Anglo German Leadership Meeting Ends in Calls for more Urgency
Chancellor Angela Merkel and Prime Minister David Cameron have clashed this afternoon in Berlin over the Euro Zone crisis. The British Prime Minister, arrived in Berlin for an urgent meeting to urge Angela Merkel to quickly sort out the Euro Zone...
Read full storyBoston Mayor Malaprop Mouths Off at the Celtics
Boston's Mayor Thomas Mumbles Menino has fractured the Boston sports scene yet again with his unique brand of enunciating for world of championship athletes. Mrs. Malaprop had nothing on Mayor Mumbles Mintendo. A big fan of winning teams and victo...
Read full storyEngland players have booked their holidays to Rio!
After settling into their "peaceful hotel" in the centre of Krakau surrounded by very loud fans hoping they can keep the players awake all night, the England players have settled in quickly (Booze is cheap in Poland!). Every other team competing i...
Read full storyManchester Airport fuel crisis causes Motorway Misery
The disruption to the fuel pipeline between Ellesmere Port and Manchester Airport has led to massive delays at the terminal, but there has been an unexpected knock on effect as the M56 has clogged up with aircraft heading for a nearby service station...
Read full storyDonald Trump Furious With Miss Pennsylvania's Charge - Plans To Sue and Demands To See Her Birth Certificate
MANHATTAN - A very close, long time friend of billionaire Donald Trump stated that in all the years that he has known Mr. Trump, that he has never seen him angrier than he is at the moment. According to Fajita San Guacamole of Hollywood Innuendo,...
Read full storyNational Hurricane Center Releases Revised List of Hurricane Names for 2012
Miami (SAPP) - As reported on May 27, the National Hurricane Center (NHC) in Miami has changed the list of hurricane names for the 2012 season to generic names. As done in previous years, each name will be used in alphabetical order. See the previous story for the rationale behind the new list of hurricane names. Here is the complete list: Atta boy Bro Chick Dude EBT Card Friend...
Read full storyIs Prince Phillip Latest Victim of "Zombie" Virus?
Speculation in the Great Britain is mounting that Prince Phillip, The Duke of Edinburgh and husband of the Queen missed the sovereign's Diamond Jubilee celebrations because he has contracted the Zombie virus which has now infected over 2,000,000 worl...
Read full storyPuerto Rico Airport Raid Link To Spread of "Zombie" Virus Denied By Homeland Security
Federal and local agents conducted raids Wednesday to stop dozens of alleged infected passengers and airline employees suspected of being riddled with the thus far undiagnosed "Zombie" virus that has now infected over 250,000 Americans. Forty-five...
Read full storyDrones To Be Deployed In US Airspace to Combat "Zombie" Virus Epidemic
Just two days after a drone strike killed Al Qaeda's second-in-command, Defense Secretary Leon Panetta made it clear Wednesday that drones are an option as long as the U.S. needs to defend itself against the zombie virus that is threatening America.
Read full storyQueen's Diamond Jubilee Sparks Mass Emigration
The Diamond Jubilee celebrations marking 60 years on the throne for HRH Queen Elizabeth II, are "progressing nicely" says an official Buckingham Palace report, with the whole of England enjoying this unique period in the nation's history. Well, no...
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