The Bank of England has once again left UK interest rates unchanged and announced no expansion to its quantitative easing (QE) programme.
Rates have now been held at the current record low for more than three years.
"We're just not that bothered," said a spokeswoman. "Who gives one anyway? What's there to get interested about?"
She added that though everyone had enjoyed the unusual two-day bank holiday earlier this week, none of her colleages had been interested in the Jubilee celebrations.
"It was like, whatevs," she said.
"So, the football starts this week, so what? England are crap and Scotland aren't there. Suppose the bloody Germans will win - how interesting is that?
"And this weather - oh yeah, that's like soooo interesting - not!
"Oh, get out my face will you? Boring questions!"
