Euro 2012: Wayne Rooney 'to miss Final'
As England prepare for the quarter-final clash with Italy in Kiev on Sunday, a senior figure within Club England has revealed that Roy Hodgson is having kittens about the prospect of match-winner Wayne Rooney missing the final. The Man United star...
Read full storyFat Man in Panties Ruins Family Day Out
A day out for a Winnipeg family turned sour today after they encountered a fat man outside their local Wal-Mart clad only in women's panties causing the cancellation of the families planned day of fun watching vehicles traverse at speed along the I-7...
Read full storyDavid Cameroon employs Alan Car
Top entertainer David Cameroon apologised today for spending his cabaret clubs profits on fast cars, free travel, expensive holidays, fine wine, women and gambling. He made the statement after it emerged that the club was now bankrupt and would be ta...
Read full storyDaft Moonie leader's joy as daughter feted at Westmonster Hall
London - North Korean-born Reverend Sun Myung Moon's wackjob firstborn has done her Old Dad proud Unification Church sources said today. Slipping into character as Oxford-educated Aung San Suu Kiy had been an absolute doddle thirty years ago - as...
Read full storyGinger Vitus The Lone Star Rider
Ginger Vitus rode high in the saddle on his worn out donkey. The poor beast had seen better days, like the retirement home he was in before being rustled by Ginger. The pair made their way along the dusty trail toward the town of Calcium, a violent whiskey soaked community on the border of San Antonio and Mexico. A few miles from the destination, Ginger halted. "There must be somewhere to...
Read full storyAnother Lucky Winner! National Treasure Found on American Roadshow From Watervliet, New York
Observers of popular social media have been quick to point out the obvious. But now another obstacle has surfaced like a battleship for those seeking satisfaction to the insult handed All-Americans following events unfolding in Chantilly, Virginia.
Read full storyTwitter Birdies Pull Work Stoppage
Most folks thought it was just a plain old "outage" when there was no Twitter for a while on Thursday. But that's not the whole story. The Spoof has learned that the real reason for the problem (although the company denies it) is that the Twitt...
Read full storyAfrican Warlord Still Mourning Death of John Denver
General Sirius Maccajabawinki or Mac, for short, stares into space, a tear slowing trickling down his cheek. He has seen it all, a child soldier at the age of 7, he climbed the ranks of Zambia's Clutchmacrutch revolutionary brigade, murdering, tortu...
Read full storyStand-up comedian Carr falls over his tax-three million!
Stand-up comedian Jimmy Carr has 3 million quid hidden away in a legal tax scam and now he's apologised for not paying his Jews (oops sorry wrong Jews; dues!). The scam allowed him to ship his dosh over to Jesrsey and ship it back in legally only having to pay 1% tax, pretty cool if you've got 3 million, but how the hell did he earn so much? If stand-up comedians can earn that much, Spoof write...
Read full storyAmish Apparel Hits Stores Tomorrow
The highly anticipated opening of Amish clothing store chain "Buckles" has many young people camping outside Malls, determined to be the first to own a ridiculous hat, with no functional use and a pair of uncomfortable Amish sneakers, with the trade...
Read full storySchool Sports Day Was Fixed Says Angry Parent
An angry parent has challenged the validity of his son's School sports day after all the participating children were declared to be "winners" even though they lost in events. Especially galling for the parent was the fact that a student, who was su...
Read full storyPresident Obama Plans To Legalize Marijuana Two Days Before The November Presidential Election
SAN FRANCISCO - President Obama visited The Golden Gate City of San Francisco where he spoke to a boisterous crowd at The Veni Vidi Vici Coliseum. The president told the crowd of 13,739, that he wants them to know that the future lies with today's...
Read full storyDuke accused of "Solar Hogging"
Residents of an exclusive area of Stalybridge were up in arms this week after accusing a local aristocrat of stealing their share of the days sunlight. The leafy stockbroker area of Mottram Rise was close to mutiny as the last of a vast array of s...
Read full storyLearning How to Lobby on Capitol Hill
Congratulations! Your fresh out of collage, and you have decided to embark on a career as a Capitol Hill lobbyist. One of many things that you must always keep forefront in your mind is that you are joining the ranks of an exclusive prestigious club where access is earned through hard work and using your head. There is much to be gained if you are up to the task at hand. The people who you wil...
Read full storySome African Americans Muse On The End Of Racism
Some older African Americans are torn now that racism in America has disappeared. They are finding it hard to relay to their Grandchildren "The Bad Old Days" and are finding it difficult to instill in their young ones that there is a scapegoat for...
Read full storyBack to the Drawing Board for Canadian Car Manufacturers Cardboard Car
Canadian car manufacturer Dorf was left scratching its head yesterday as developers watched in horror as the $1billion Dorf Sumuru cardboard prototype auto, which had taken 30 years to develop, burst into flames after it took on fuel. The vehicle...
Read full storyAngry People March on Washington
WASHINGTON, DC-Known as the "Angry People" representing all angry people across the USA, a group of 34 men and women marched on Washington this morning, stomping their feet, looking vexed and shaking their fists. The protestors demanded that l...
Read full storyWes Welker Accepts Franchise Tag as Groomzilla
Speaking of happy couples, Tom Brady and his best bud Wes Welker may be in Aspen this week ahead of the nuptials-as Welker plans to marry the former Miss Hooters International 2005. Before the hooting begins, Welker and unnamed associates were...
Read full storyObama and Pizza Hut Talks Break Down
A crisis was today declared after negations between President Obama and Pizza Hut broke down late last night after the two parties failed to agree on a unilateral delivery schedule and validity of coupons the President found in the kitchen drawer, th...
Read full storyEnglish Professor Threatens BBC Over "Them"
Professor Finn L. Straw is threatening to blow up one of the BBC's broadcasting masts if his demands are not met. The drama began last night as this publication went to press. His protest concerns the use of the word "them" instead of "those" and the...
Read full storyLeBron James Implicated in Dog Fighting Scandal and Immediately Suspended by NBA
LeBron James has been sensationally suspended from competing in tonight's NBA Game 5 as the Miami Heat try to close out the Oklahoma City Thunder to win the NBA title after allegations of his involvement in a dog fighting ring surface. James, who...
Read full storyThousands rush to sign-up to 'Jimmy Carr avoidance' scheme
Thousands of people the length and breadth of the UK have today been reported to be signing up to a Jimmy Carr avoidance scheme. The highly controversial scheme allows 'subscribers' to filter, loan out and offset 99% of their Jimmy Carr coverage,...
Read full storyFrat boys just love the taste of new vagina beer
L.A., California: A new beer has been created by Estle Brewing Company. The flavor you might ask? Vagina. Yes it is the same flavor of the female sexual organ. Though its not just one, there are four beers, one for each "type" of vagina; sweet, s...
Read full storyA True Diary of Woe - Part Fifty-Seven
A diary of one man's (Using the term lossely) utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 100: The Shopping Expedition Wed 20th 2012 Up at 0500hrs - Carbolicalised (ablutions), and medicated, followed by the usual hunt for my glasses and hearing aids. Put the laptop on to find out what day it is. Attend to shopping list: Rememb...
Read full storyZac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens To Star In The New TV Series, "The Zombie Chronicles"
HOLLYWOOD - A spokesperson for The Epitome Network has just announced that The Zombie Chronicles will be premiering in two weeks. The cable series is being directed by noted motion picture director Charleen Belle Pinnzucker who has worked with Dem...
Read full storyRainbow Society Event Raided by Leprechauns
Today at a Rainbow Society fundraiser, participants were shocked and disgusted at the behavior of several little people calling themselves leprechauns. Event organizers stated that the event was to raise awareness of AIDS and HIV within the gay /...
Read full storyiPhone 5 to completely integrate with iCloud
The iPhone 5 will become the most powerful smart phone on the market when it is released by removing all processing from the device, and moving it wholly into the cloud. "The cloud is the future," said Tim Cook, CEO of Apple. "There is no reason t...
Read full storyGoal Line Technology (GLT) Wouldn't Have Made Any Difference In England v. Ukraine Game
Goal Line Technology, with which it can be instantly determined whether or not a football has crossed the goal-line, would not have had any overall benefit had it been used in the England v. Ukraine game on Tuesday, I claim. The spectre of GLT rai...
Read full storyBristol Palin's New Reality Show "Bristol Palin: Life's A Tripp" Is Headed For The Reality Show Trash Bin
LOS ANGELES - Sarah "Snowflake" Palin's daughter Bristol's new reality show Bristol Palin: Life's A Tripp (sic) had its premier. The shows executives were hoping to get 3 to 4 million viewers but it appears that they overestimated a bit as only 4,...
Read full storyRangers to buy English team Bury and play League One Football in Glagsow
Speculation was mounting last night that Scottish Premier League crisis club Rangers were looking to buy English league one club Bury and move the club 200 miles up to Glasgow, bringing English Football League fixtures to Scotland for the first time.
Read full storyPorn Film Industry Searching for New Actors / Actresses.
Remember back in the day when you hid your "stag" films from your mom and dad? How about going to those bachelor parties and watching curvaceous babes popping out of cakes or stripping for the groom-to-be? Those were the good old days but guess what...
Read full storySerena Williams purchased Adidas shackle shoes
Serena Williams was spotted purchasing a pair of Adidas shackle shoes at an Adidas retail outlet on Main St. in Santa Monica, California. The shoes were specially ordered for Williams. "I purchased the shoes because I've experienced problems in t...
Read full storyCommander Bond with some tips on enjoying the upcoming St. John Voodo Holiday - 24 June
Well here we are. Many of you are unawares of the meaning behind the St. John's Voodoo holiday coming up Sunday, June 24. It's a harmless holiday really, a lot of chasing and shagging while waving potables not fit for either end, actually.
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