Written by Heeke

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

image for The Divided States Of America

North America --In an effort to please the three major political parties, citizens have conducted a vote to split North America equally between the three parties. As a result, each party and all those citizens who support it will have approximately two months to vacate their current homes if the area they are in is no longer part of their political party.

The three major parties decided that this course of action was inevitable since neither party could agree to workable solutions to move the United States of America forward or to unite its citizens. All the bickering and in-house fighting caused each party member to hold town hall meetings with their constituents to voice their opinions on dividing North America into three equal but separate nations.

Party lines would be drawn along U.S. state borders to ensure that each party has an equal share of land and resources to make a more productive society. The Democratic Party has decided that for them, they want the states from California to Montana. The Libertarian Party has only requested the states North and South Dakota. The Republican Party has requested all states from Texas to Florida.

All parties agreed to the divide and have agreed to a date of January 20th, 2013 to implement their plans. All persons who are caught in rival states territory will be arrested and shot as spies against the ruling party of those states. Each party sector will have their own government complete and separate from the others and no other party can attempt to extend influence into another party's sector.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
62 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more