Homoeopathic researchers at the Water Memory Project in Bath have successfully located the homoeopathic trace memory of the very bath water that Archimedes leapt from whilst shouting Eureka three thousand years ago.
"We are bowled over by this discovery," said Maureen Dimwitton WTSSOQ (Working Toward Some Sort of Qualification), head of the project. "We have finally found something we can sink our teeth into. The research has paid off. Finally."
A humble glass of water, filled from the tap in the lab (Maureen's cellar) contains the memory of being in the same bath as Archimedes, making the drinker of the water as smart as the ancient Greek.
"It's well known," said Maureen, "that when you dissolve something in water, it alters the shape of the water's energy. The more you dilute the water, the more powerful the effect of that memory becomes. With only a finite amount of water on the planet, the water from Archimedes's bath has been diluted so many millions of times, that this humble glass of water is now more powerful than anything we have yet encountered."
The Water Memory Project staff have previously identified water with the memory of Genghis Khan, Winston Churchill and the neighbour's cat.
"It is a very exciting stage of our project," said Maureen. "I took one drop of the water from the glass, diluted it a hundred fold, and took a sip. It was a Eureka moment indeed. For a brief time, I was the smartest person on the planet. Who knows what would happen if I was to drink the whole glass?"
The Greeks have asked for the water to be repatriated, as Archimedes was a Greek, and they are willing to try anything so their finance minister can solve the economic crisis. Maureen has refused their request, as she wishes to continue studying it.
"Anyway," she said. "They can always just grab any bottle of water of a shelf. That will be equally full of Archimedes's bath water."
