Obama Administration Introduces the NOFAT Program

Funny story written by Philbert of Macadamia

Tuesday, 19 June 2012

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"Hide the Pizza, it's the Food Police!"

Washington DC: White House Press Secretary Carney announced a new Obama administration initiative to reduce obesity in the USA in the next four years via the No Obese Fat American Taxpayer (NOFAT) Program.

President Obama got the idea for the NOFAT Program from NYC Mayor Bloomberg's proposal limiting sugary soft drink sizes. The president will extend this concept, via executive order, to American's daily food intake. The president indicated he is tired of observing fat assed women and beer bellied men among White House personnel and during his frequent election campaign trips.

Health and Human Services (HHS) Secretary Sebelius outlined the NOFAT Program guidelines. All healthy Americans above the age of five having a body mass index (BMI) greater than 25 must participate. Americans must take their three meals, totaling 1,000 calories per day, at government feeding centers in each state. These feeding centers will be the defunct insurance exchanges left over from ObamaCare or newly built facilities.

HHS will ask Congress to appropriate $5 trillion to implement the NOFAT Program infrastructure and establish the NOFAT Food Police to insure compliance with program guidelines. The food police will also check BMI papers of people entering pizza, fried chicken, hamburger and other fast food restaurants.

First Lady Michelle Obama has been designated the NOFAT Program administrator responsible for inspecting feeding facilities, distributing home grown vegetables and conducting mandatory daily televised exercise classes.

Congress (Republicans and Democrats), civil liberties groups, libertarians, religious groups and food industry organizations are threatening federal lawsuits. The US Supreme Court has signaled its objections that the NOFAT Program is unconstitutional.

Wait there is breaking news that the NOFAT Program has been cancelled because First Lady Michelle Obama has a BMI of 40!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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