Teen Girl's Parents Sued By Girl's Own Dog
Fairdale Kentucky, USA - Jaime a 16 year old high school girl was walking her dog after she arrived home from school last Friday, February 3rd. According to Jaime and witnesses, Jaime's dog Jack became so excited that he ran out into the road in fron...
Read full storyIran bans The Simpsons, they're too pornographic!
The Simpsons have been banned from Iran and Homer, Bart & the others are about to sue the Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (miserable sod), for racial discrimination. The reason why Iran is banning The Simpsons is because they are "too w...
Read full storyLady Gaga Insists Her Tata's Have Not Been Surgically Enhanced
SHERMAN OAKS, California - Lady Gaga attended Heidi Montag's Super Bowl Party at Plastic Land Manor, Heidi's $8.9 million Slovakian-style mansion. Lady Gaga and Montag first became friends when Gaga provided one of her shoulders for Heidi to lean...
Read full storyMadonna Embalmer Awarded Super Bowl MVP
BILLINGSGATE POST - Despite his second-half heroics, Eli Manning could not overcome the lead built by Madonna during the half-time show yesterday and fell short in his bid to win his second Super Bowl MVP award. Instead, "Embalmer to the Stars," Whi...
Read full storyEmployee tribunal scheduled after the world's best excuse for failing a drugs test
Gabbie Halls has successfully won a right to appeal her dismissal on drugs charges from a well known high street bank after she came up with a cracker of an excuse. "I'd go as far to say," said Jo Jones of the Drug Employment Testing Agency, "that...
Read full storyUndercover cop who impregnated suspect suddenly pops up on police dating website
London - An eco campaigner who reckons she got pregnant after insemination by an undercover cop complained today his mugshot is on the home page of CoppersNark.con. "Of course now he's a Detective Superintendent I expect his subscription rate has...
Read full storyCouncils urge the elderly to pay for snow removal
After the weekend's heavy snowfalls claimed the lives of five elderly residents in the UK, councils are urging their elderly relatives to pay for snow clearing rather than attempt it themselves. "Snow is quite heavy," said councillor, Rob Roberts...
Read full storyNazi CCTV scheme to be rolled out across UK
London - "Next they'll be changing the name from Phoenix Road to Goosestep Avenue," weary Somers Town resident Mrs Mavis Bin Lina told reporters at lunchtime today. Her protest comes amid news that CCTV cameras bark "Keep off zee grass!" and play...
Read full storyJustin Bieber and Selena Gomez Spotted At The Super Bowl - He Was Cheering For The Giants And She Was Cheering For The Patriots
INDIANAPOLIS - Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were at Super Bowl XLVI (46) and they were both ecstatic that for once the focus was not on them but on the football field where the New York Giants defeated the New England Patriots 21-17 to become the S...
Read full storyPakistan Thump England. Expert Salutes 'World's Best'
Pakistan wrapped up a three-nil series whitewash over England in Dubai today. The result leaves England, the best test side in the world since last summer's series against India, in danger of being overhauled by South Africa. While inquests hav...
Read full storyGerman Pensioner Celebrates 60 Years of Scrounging Off UK Taxpayers
A woman of German descent today celebrates 60 years of living off the taxpayer, claiming it has been her right as 'Queen' of England. Mrs Elizabeth Windsor of Westminster has apparently also been paid for the upkeep of multiple properties through...
Read full storyRail Travellers Get Say on Bonuses
The Government is setting up a hotline for comments by the travelling public on the award of bonuses to Network Rail senior staff. This follows the Government finding that they cannot do anything about the bonuses being paid. Justine Greening, Tr...
Read full storyDavid Milipede joins cast of Eastenders to avoid 'soap opera of Labour Party'
The BBC pulled off a scoop last night as it announced David Milipede will join the cast of Eastenders to play local councillor Delboy Moon - long lost cousin of nearly everybody else currently in Eastenders. Milipede has branched out into acting t...
Read full storyLiberal Democrats to 'pull out of politics' after Harry Potter withdraws his wand
The Liberal Democrats appeared to throw in the towel last night after boy magician Harry Potter told the world he would no longer magic up votes for them. A senior party member told the spoof politics correspondent "Thats it! Game over for us - no...
Read full storyRob Pattinson's Latest Movie "James Bond - Doing The Do In Dubai" Also Stars The Sexy Trio of Megan Fox, Scarlett Johansson, and Charlize Theron
HOLLYWOOD - The star of the Twilight series Rob Pattinson has announced that his latest movie James Bond - Doing The Do In Dubai has opened to rave reviews. Pattinson said that he really enjoyed working with the legendary director Martello Pellagr...
Read full storyProhibition Of Sugar Beginning January 1st, 2013 - Stay Puft Marshmallow Man In Sugar Induced Coma
Washington DC: President Obama has just signed America's new prohibition bill into law. This law is similar to the 1920s and 1930s alcohol prohibition that restricted and set down the rules for enforcing the ban on alcohol, as well as defining the ty...
Read full storyIce Cold in Alex
Hard-cheeked buttocks stood proud, taut muscles rippled under the strain, sweat beaded down the rugged noble face as his hot breath swirled then dissipated into the cold Manchester air. In Alexandria's adoring eyes, Jack cut the figure of a statuesque rampant stallion ... "Oooooh, what a creamy dream," she thought. "Eh?". Jack flashed his luxuriant camel-lashed eyes in her direction. "Lo...
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