The Vomit Will Be Flowing Through the Gutters of Washington DC. Tonight!
What are you doing tonight? "Yea, man, like let's go down to Washington DC and par-tay in George Town! I mean, were going to have a great time, have a few brewskis, find some ladies! Let's roll!" The Reality First you go down to George Town and your ride is a geeky friends 1991 Volkswagen rabbit. You sit in traffic for an hour to get into George Town and then you can't find a parking spac...
Read full storyNew Olympic Sporting Event Added to 2012 Summer Olympics
Stuffing your face for gold - Using both hands, he pick's up the four pounder bacon cheeseburger, and holds it in preparation for what must be for two-time world champion power eater John Keesler, a time of intense concentration on how he plans his attack. Ever calculating, he eye's the burger looking for a weak spot. Now he's flexing his jaw bone, his mouth opens and there he goes, he' stuffs it...
Read full storyAlfred Hitchcock was a Creepy Old Man Claims Former Starlet
Tippi Hedren, former starlet of the Alfred Hitchcock classic The Birds claims that Hitchcock was a creepy old man. "He was constantly ogling at me and making wear low cut tops and he arranged the cameras so he could see my cleavage," claims Hedre...
Read full storyFirst contact received from outside our solar system? Aliens don't want to eat us, says former SETI director
We the people of the planet earth have for the past hundred years or so been beaming out radio and television signals into the vastness of the Universe. Never mind that most of what we have been beaming out makes us look like a collective bunch of intergalactic war mongering morons to any intelligent beings capable of receiving those signals, the reality is, that unless we are the only planet in t...
Read full storyUS Breathes a Sigh of Relief over Bus Crash that Killed 30, No Guns Were Involved
A bus speeding northbound on Route 85 heading into Albuquerque, New Mexico lost control and careened off the highway, flipped over a guardrail and rolled down a steep embankment before coming to rest upside down at the bottom of a ravine. The bus re...
Read full storyPyroplastic Floe About to Overwhelm Bobby Valentine
According to hot leads and cold comfort in Boston, the Red Sox clubhouse is about to go into a pyroplastic meltdown. Bobby Valentine is now searching for the snitch, fink, and all-round source of the vile event where he denigrated Will Middlebrook...
Read full storyAmazing Gold for Team GB!
The Stadium at the Olympic Velodrome erupted in ecstatic cries of Land of Hope & Glory as Stephen Mole, 12, won an amazing Gold in Tiddlywinks. Mole exclaimed that his feat was 'Unbelievable'. Proud parents Oliver and Augusta Mole, speaking fr...
Read full storyApple announce that Mountain Lion downloads top 3 million
Apple Computers have revealed that Mountain Lion downloads have topped three million in the first week. "I didn't realise that there were that many mountain lions in the world," said head of development, Ellie James. "When I last checked there we...
Read full storyLocal Guy had no Idea that Hate Tasted so Good
Mobile, Alabama local guy, Jerry Dull ate out at a Chick fil A for the first time in his life and was stunned by how good it was. "I've never eaten out in my entire life", exclaimed Dull who was in the process of downing his 11th straight Chick fi...
Read full storyWhy Sarah Palin Would Have Made a Better Vice-President Than Dick Cheney
Ex Minister of Vice Dick Cheney has come out (no, not out of the closet. Don't we wish!) and said that Sarah Palin was a poor choice for Vice President. Well son of a gun! It's the pot calling the kettle black! Let's take a look at why Palin WOULD have been a better vice President than Cheney ever was: Palin actually did things for the people of Alaska. She didn't just come in and push peop...
Read full storyMariah Carey and Nick Cannon Talking Splitsville
LOS ANGELES - Mariah Carey is riding on Cloud 9 as the stunningly attractive songstress has just signed a reported $18 million a year deal to replace J.Lo (Jennifer Lopez) on American Idol. But all is not well in the Nick Cannon - Mariah Carey hou...
Read full storyAngelina Jolie Wants Custody of Michael Jackson's Kids
NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie has made it known that she would like to adopt Michael Jackson's children Paris, Prince, and Blanket. Jolie and her fiancé Brad Pitt already have six children but the actress stressed that Kate Gosselin has eight and...
Read full storyBlack gymnast Gabby Douglas stripped of gold medal!
LONDON -- Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas has been stripped of her gold medal at the 2012 Olympic Games for "not using one's black affiliation to win a match." "Upon further review of the video footage," official Suchet Zwambi said, "we determined t...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments 3rd August 2012
Portsmouth are due to play a friendly against AFC Wimbledon next week and such are their financial problems their squad list in the programme is empty. (Metro) Bring your boots - you might get a game! Liverpool beat Gomel 1-0 in Belarus in the First leg of the First Round of the Europa League, with a goal from Stewart Downing. Who said Stewart Downing can't produce the goods at the highest l...
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