Pyroplastic Floe About to Overwhelm Bobby Valentine

Funny story written by Ossurworld

Friday, 3 August 2012

According to hot leads and cold comfort in Boston, the Red Sox clubhouse is about to go into a pyroplastic meltdown.

Bobby Valentine is now searching for the snitch, fink, and all-round source of the vile event where he denigrated Will Middlebrooks after a hideous on-field display by saying, "Nice inning, kid."

The CSI of the Boston media are on the case, looking for likely suspects.

Sports radio in Boston have rounded up twice the usual suspects as to which player went to the ownership group and complained how Valentine had assaulted the young third baseman with mild sarcasm.

The culprit likely is someone who has expressed dislike for Valentine already this season.

This narrows the list of likely blabbermouths to a baker's dozen.

Valentine went on Boston radio and went ballistic, with slow drips of sarcastic humor, urging the media to keep the ball rolling.

When the deductive mind of a detective goes to work on the "Case of the Nice Inning," he finds that the tie to a rookie from Texas is the great contingent of Texans that despise Bobby Valentine.

This list contains, at last swoop, Josh Beckett, Clay Buchholz, John Lackey, Scott Atchison and Kelly Shoppach.

Of this group, Will Middlebrooks is closest to Clay Buchholz. Just a few weeks ago at Fenway, they played like little kids with a radar controlled sports car, crashing it into the wall in the Fenway outfield.

Whether the Texas contingent urged Buchholz to go to John Henry, or whether another drew the short straw, they were ready and willing to drive the bus over Bobby Valentine.

Of course, this does not let honorary Texans (Dustin Pedroia and David Ortiz) off the hook.

Stay tuned, baseball fans, because the crap is about to hit you.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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