Assange: theatrical grandstanding ...with his flies wide open
London - Mouthfulls of bollocks for a solid ten minutes saw Julian Assange preach from the Ecuadorean embassy balcony this afternoon. However a Beeb news close-up shows the Wikileaks arse with his flies undone. And half an inch of schlong insid...
Read full storyUK Says Battering Ram Not Likely In Assange Case
UK officials insist they are not considering a battering ram against the front door of Ecuador's embassy in London, where Julian Assange's asylum has recently been extended to the country of Ecuador itself. It's important, UK officials say, to no...
Read full story"War With Iran" Roadshow Ready For Tour
Not content with mere headlines, the Benjamin Netanyahu War-With-Iran-Roadshow is about to get underway. A contingent of drummers, buglers, and dancing dwarfs will parade on American streets beating out their music, using the key refrain, "War with I...
Read full storySidebar of Shame Throwaway Celebrity Gossip 19th August 2012
Cher Lloyd walks off stage at V Festival after reveller throws bottle of urine at singer Talk about taking the piss - or in this case, throwing it. Still got it! David Beckham rakes in £13.3million from sponsorship deals. The 37-year-old earned more than £36,000 a day endorsing brands including Armani, adidas, Samsung and Diet Coke during 2011. All that and still turing up to watch every Olym...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments (Scotland) 19th August 2012
Liverpool's Scottish midfielder Charlie Adam has warned his club-mates to expect a hostile atmosphere when they visit Hearts in Thursday's Europa League tie. (Various) No need to worry about a Glasgow Kiss, but watch out for the Edinburgh Elbow.. Rangers crowd of 49,000 v East Stirlingshire in Scottish Division Three was 17,000 more than the combined attendances of the Scottish Premier Leag...
Read full storyMy 'You Had to be there' Moments' W/e 18th August
Monday 13th Friend Jar Jar (nickname) tries to chat up Friend Sinbad (predictive text nickname) saying he was always attracted to her even when she was dating another friend. Not getting anywhere he asks what the 'NYC' on Sinbads jumper stands for. "NO YOU CANT" says I... Wednesday 15th Had my picture taken with the Paralympic Torch in Sainsbury (the Paralympic sponsors) at Earls Court . A pu...
Read full storyFootball Gossip & comments 19th August 2012
Vurnon Anita has completed his move from Ajax to Newcastle United on a five-year contract. (BBC Sport) I reckon she'd form a great partnership with Andy Carroll. A new book claims that Manchester City "accidentally" made an offer for Lionel Messi, swiftly rejected, on the night the club was taken over by Sheikh Mansour in 2008. (Sunday Mirror) Messi in Manchester? What a load of old kaka.
Read full storyQueen Elizabeth advertises for new husband
London - She's been quick to pack Philip off to the Hellfire Club's Final Daze Spa & Crematorium at the latest episode of chronic malingering according to Palace sources. This weekend advertisements in the Autumn issues of The Oldie, Fox N Hou...
Read full storyKing Brenny inherits King Kennys' football habits...
Anfield, Merseyside: Deep within the 'bunker' mentality that makes Liverpool FC one of the legendary world Football Clubs, sits King Brenny. Before King Brenny, on his desk, lays a reportedly 600 page dossier that highlights the new dawn! Let us...
Read full storySilver Medalist for Sprinting Runs into New England Patriot Training Camp
Hiyo, Silver! Introducing the Speedster Bullet now ricocheting off the walls of Gillette Stadium. Bill Belichick seems to want the silver Olympic medal, and by hook or crook he intends to get one. It's in the form of Jeff Demps. As arguably...
Read full storyRomney Demands Death Penalty Reform
WASHINGTON, DC - On Sunday, Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney criticized the current punishment system and announced that he will revolutionize the death penalty by instituting a new system if elected. "Public executions are the answer...
Read full storyArsenal buy Robin Van Persie!
The merry-go-round in the English Premier league just keeps turning and turning as Arsenal sensationally buy back Robin van Persie from Manchester United! After Arsenal's dismal, blankety-blank display against the defensive Sunderland yesterday, w...
Read full storyButch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid re-make
It has been rumoured that Mark Thomas of Great Britain is currently working with Michael Moore of the US of A to do a complete re-make of the classic bank robbery film "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid". The storyline has been updated to take ac...
Read full storyRussell Brand Says He Misses Ex-Girlfriend Kate Gosselin's 8 Kids
LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand called up Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors and told her that he wants her to let everyone know that he is sorry and really regrets his little recent indiscretion with Kat Von D. He stated that he had no idea that it would...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Unhappy At Haircut Criticism
MARINA DEL REY, California - Miley Cyrus and her fiancé Liam Hemsworth were seen having dinner at The Red Glowing Crab Seafood Diner in Marina Del Rey. Cyrus who just recently had the hair stylist to the stars FuFi Fondue cut off her hair and dye...
Read full storyNational Mottos of the United States 1776 - present
While "E Pluribus Unum" and "In God We Trust" might be the most well-known of our national mottos, they are far from the only ones that have been used. Let's take a look at some alternative slogans over the years. 1776 - 1789: Your Experience May Vary if Black or Female 1789 - 1820: Now Available West of the Mississippi 1820 - 1861: What Impending National Calamity? 1861 &#...
Read full storyLarry Hagman Star of "Dallas" Says No To Eyebrow Trimming
HOLLYWOOD - Producers of the TNT show Dallas have just about given up trying to convince the main star Larry Hagman, 80, to trim his ridiculously hideous looking eyebrows. Hagman showing that he is every bit as stubborn and as hard headed as the m...
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