Scousers of the Kop, the Koppites, now call for the 'second coming' of the 'Messiah', Roy Hodgson, as their LFC Manager!
This is ANFIELD, Liverpool: The Liverpool fan base is the most knowledgable, humble and sophisticated in the country, if not in the entire world. You'll Never Walk Alone, in Liverpool. Before Roy Hodgson was 'relieved' of his Anfield Command, were...
Read full storyMitt Romney to Make Necessary Changes to Son's Birth Certificate
Mitt Romney, under increasing pressure to keep certain details about his past a secret, decided to sit down with his son, Matt Romney, and have a chat last week, according to a witness. "First of all, don't talk about Mormons," said the Republican presidential hopeful. "I do not wish to address that issue, so keep quiet! Not even a BYU co-ed joke, do you understand?" His son replied, "Okay,...
Read full storyLuddite Society organise a Kindle burning
The Luddite Society are to hold a Kindle Burning party on Thursday to symbolise the destruction of what they see as the end of paper based books. "Kindles are an affront to every good thinking honest citizen," said Ned Ludd, who is the elected hea...
Read full storyMitt Romney, "I am Gay"
GAY, GA--- Presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney was in this small city -- population 5000-- to receive the 'Key to the City'. Gay is the only city, manufacturing 'Made in America' collectible silver spoons. "They are sold in souven...
Read full storyBachelor Contestant ostracized after claiming to be "on show to make friends"
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - ABC's The Bachelor contestant Chantelle Martinee was spurned by her former castmates during the 2-hour season finale event, The Ladies Continue to Fight After the Final Picnic on the Beach, Part 4. Martinee, a 21-year-o...
Read full storyBonesmen's horror described in '15 ft Eastern Diamondback rattlesnake used to be George Bush Sr room mate' report
South Carolina - A one time campaigning reporter and Myrtle Beach resident has described how freaked Skull And Bonesmen are pleading the fifth about the existence of a massive 'Frankenstein' snake captured at a St Augustine, Florida fairway last week...
Read full storyPresident Obama Orders a Hooker
Immediately following a lengthy meeting in the Oval Office with the Director of the U.S. Secret Service Mark J. Sullivan, President Obama decided to order a hooker. Sources say his meeting with Sullivan lasted nearly four hours. It follows a rece...
Read full storyChocolate Lego bricks lets kids play with their food
Better known for their range of plastic bricks, and computer games, and theme parks, Lego have created a chocolate version of their plastic bricks. "They don't come in all the shapes and sizes of the plastic bricks," said Julie Poe, who created th...
Read full storyTulisa Contostavlos Offered Twenty Quid Plus A Share In The Profits To Make Another XXX Rated Video
Skoob Entertainment News's head honcho, Buffty Ginslinger, has announced that he has offered X-Factor judge and N-Dubz babe, Tulisa Contostavlos twenty quid in cash and a share in the profits if she'll get her kit off again and make another steamy ad...
Read full storyMan Utd get double dose of the "Blues"!
Man Utd's defence resembled a huge lump of Swiss Cheese (remember Basel?) after firstly thrashing the Blues from Liverpool then crumbling and melting away like a mouldy piece of "Swiss gorgonzola" cheese. On the other side of town the other "Blues...
Read full storyWest Ham lose Olympic Stadium Bid
West Ham United learnt today that they will not become tenants of the Olympic Stadium after the completion of the 2012 London Olympics. A study carried out by the London Sport & Tourism Executive concluded that West Ham's history of poor resul...
Read full storyElderly man is getting close to locating Syria on Google Maps
HARFOLD, Vt. - Benjamin Waters, 83, is so sick and tired of hearing and reading about Syria in the news every fucking day that he's getting really close to actually finding out where it is. "I keep telling myself, 'Who gives a crap?'" Waters said,...
Read full story"The Special One" pokes Pep Guardiola in the eye!
After putting up with the spectacular "falls", "dives" and "Hollywood play-acting" of a certain Chelsea pensioner, Barcelona trainer, Pep Guardiola, has now been poked firmly in the eye by his main rival, "The Special One"! Last night's El Clasico...
Read full storyQueen's sordid shaggings Scene 666, Act 9/11: Abu Qatada
Newbury - Dastardly non-dom terrist Abu Qatada may not be quite so Jordanian as most people think according to latest DNA findings. Apparently he is the rogue spawn of the Queen's sordid shaggings with Shaikh Rashid RIP, late Ruler of Dubai. T...
Read full storyOrder of the Gutter for Kuwaiti piss-taker
London - A Kuwait government official tasered by cops for urinating on Tony Blair's doorstep has been nominated for the UK's top gong. Diplomatic Protection Racket officers blasted Ayedh Al-Rashidi, 40, with a powerful 50,000 volt shock and took h...
Read full storyUnconscious Spectators At Today's London Marathon 'Simply Ran Out Of Air'!
At least seven hundred spectators at this year's annual spring London Marathon had to be given oxygen today with some of them then being taken to hospital after passing out while watching the runners as they took part in the gruelling event. The p...
Read full storySelected Political News for W/E: 22nd April 2012
Monday 16th April 2012 Topic: "Respect's George Galloway has taken his seat in the House of Commons as the new MP for Bradford West." Source: BBC News Extract: He has vowed to speak out about Bradford's economic problems as well as his opposition to the Afghanistan war. After reading the traditional oath of allegiance to The Queen, Mr Galloway was offered his congratulations by MPs - includi...
Read full storyNottingham News for W/E: 22nd April 2012
Monday 16th April 2012 Topic: Crime "Two people hurt in shooting outside Nottingham hotel" Source: This is Nottingham Extract: Two people suffered leg injuries in a late-night shooting outside a Nottingham hotel. A 17-year-old youth and a 36-year-old woman were standing in front of the Stage Hotel, in Gregory Boulevard, on Saturday when they were hurt. Comment: "Very encouraging, that hotel...
Read full storyMy Senior Moments - W/E Sunday 22nd April 2012 - Two
Monday 16th April 2012 * Shock of the Spoof being down when I tried to open it, was not as bad as last time. * Had bath, did teggies, shaved, had crap and changed into glad-rags, and went over the road to grope Margaret. (In my dreams!) * Walked to get some nosh, and got the tram back. I hope someone found my fingerless gloves wot I left on the tram platform seat and has made use of them. Tu...
Read full story"Never Mind Cheryl Cole - Simon Cowell Will Father My Football Babies" - Says Burnley Woman
Hot on the heels of shattering revelations that X-Factor supremo Simon Cowell had a thing about Geordie mime merchant, Cheryl Cole, a Burnley woman has announced that Simon Cowell will be the duly designated father of her projected eleven children. E...
Read full storySarah Palin's Former Secret Service Agent Explains Why He Was 'Checking Her Out'
WASHINGTON, D.C. - It appears that the "Loose Moose" AKA Sarah Palin, is back and this time she is wishing and hoping that, unlike the last time, someone pays attention to her. But as comedian Zydeco Dupree recently said at The Giggle Giggle Comed...
Read full storyRihanna Talks Openly About Her "Switch Hitting" Rumors
MALIBU - Barbabos songstress Rihanna and her BFF Melissa Forde were out on the town and caused quite a stir as they walked hand-in-hand into the exquisite Ristorante Giorgio Baldi formerly The Jellyfish Tentacles Bar & Grill. Carolina Chipotle...
Read full storyThe First Guide Sloths Finish Training in a Few Weeks
The Seeing Sloth, a guide animal school specializing in training sloths, has announced that the first guide animals will be available to the general public in the coming months, or perhaps years. Despite the fact that the school is called The See...
Read full story"Demonic Possession - It's The Money Shot For Creationists" Claims Evolutionist
Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, who tends to believe that Evolutionists have quite a convincing point, whilst simultaneously acknowledging the existence of a higher spiritual order, today took a short break from his usual weekend bouts of 'not doing a...
Read full story