Heroin Prescription For Addicts Available Over The Counter
Prescribing heroine on the NHS could be the way forward when it comes to treating addicts, according to Jack Straw. The justice secretary's comments come in the wake of a scheme in which heroines were given to addicts in supervised clinics had led...
Read full storyThe New Kanye West Talking Action Figure Doll Hits The Stores
NEW YORK CITY - The Hasbroken Toy Company's brand new Kanye West Talking Action Figure Doll is flying off the department store shelves faster than you can say "Taylor I'm gonna let you finish but." The very life-like doll stands a full two feet ta...
Read full storyResearchers Discover Bigfoot Spoor
Bigfoot, it seems, does do it the woods. A team of researchers from UU reported this week that they have found what is controvertible proof that Bigfoot exists - a small bit of brownish goo that appears to have been smeared on a leaf. Doug E., the...
Read full storyNaked Man Holds Burglar At Penis Point For Four Hours
In Lake Charles, Louisiana - Authorities here said a naked 81-year-old man was able to hold a drunken intruder, who may have been trying to burglarize the place, at pecker point until deputies arrived, nearly four hours later. Gladstone Gandhi jum...
Read full storyHoward Stern Imitator Calls for Segregation, Mocks Gays
PALM BEACH, FL - Famous for having a career because of Howard Stern, conservative talk-show host Rush Limbaugh is once again causing controversy. In his latest attempt at Stern-shtick, which misses the mark - again, Limbaugh calls for the segregat...
Read full storyWolf Blitzer Weighs In on His Devastating Loss at Celebrity Jeopardy
New York, New York - CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer is saying "It's my turn!" after fielding a blitz of media and internet mockery following his humiliating last-place finish on Thursday's edition of Celebrity Jeopardy. Blitzer lost Double Jeopardy with...
Read full storyCartoon Aficionado's Escape Baffles Texas Authorities
GALVESTON, TX - Texas authorities began searching again this Sunday for a convicted burglar who escaped, this time by climbing seven stories down the side of a building on a rope made of bedsheets, officials said. Avery Jones Clampett, 21, was las...
Read full storyKayne West Tells Jimmy Carter To Shut His Yap!
After former president Jimmy Carter began calling Joe Wilson and anyone who opposes the presidential policies of Barack Obama, a racist, Kayne West has told Carter to shut his mouth. "We don't need no Jimmy Carter telling us who President Obama is...
Read full storyMichael Moore Film Condemns Capitalists Like Himself
Wealthy film maker Michael Moore decided to give the residents of his adopted community in Michigan an early view of his new documentary on Saturday, urging them to help him overthrow our wicked economic system he stated was beyond help. The lates...
Read full storyBiden to Honor National Breast Appreciation Day with Restaurant Openings
Washington, D.C.-Vice President Joe Biden will commemorate National Breast Appreciation Day by presiding over the opening of several new Honkers Restaurants, during a whirlwind 24 hour cross-country trip on September 28th. The trip will begin in W...
Read full storyMan U v Man City Game Still Going On Despite Protests
Manchester United players are being treated for exhaustion after four hours of injury time in the derby match against Manchester City. Furious Utd boss Sir Alex Ferguson has demanded the referee blow for time for the sake of his players who have n...
Read full storyGoogle to add new spamsearch search to Google search
Google has finally accepted that spam is a major online activity by launching its latest feature google spamsearch. Similar in concept to Google blogsearch the search engine will only give spam listings providing they contain rich, relevant content c...
Read full storyNew Jersey English Hit in China
Bejiing - Tony LaRussa, a trucker from Hoboken, has become a celebrity in China for his hit show "Learn English with Tony." The show has taken off with the Chinese allowing viewers to master English in a fun and friendly manner at home rather tha...
Read full storyIran to let USA send UN bingo ball inspectors to check bingo ball stock piling site
Iran today agreed to let UN inspectors into Tehran to check the alleged stock pile of bingo balls the United States suspects them of having. In a statement from her penthouse in New York the Iranian ambassador had this to say. "We have sent a twi...
Read full storyHull City Manager Phil Brown Banned From City's Tanning Salons
It was another bad day at the office for Hull City manager Phil Brown yesterday, after his side were beaten 1-0 at the KC Stadium by newly-promoted Birmingham City, but worse was to follow. Brown, already under-fire from fans, was told by the prop...
Read full storyCigarette Company is sued for man's suicide attempts
Another nail in the coughing has been hammered into a major cigarette company by a man who attempted to commit suicide by smoking himself to death. Mr. Havalight, 59, is to sue Balsam and Bushes for one million pounds for wrongful advertising and...
Read full storyLongest Running Soap Too Slippy
The world's longest surviving soap has been screened for the last time. Having been on air in the US for more than 70 years, health and safety officials in the US have ordered NBC to scrap the soap in case the film crew slipped on it. Despite a...
Read full storyTeachers No Longer Needed In Schools
Education spending could be cut by £2bn by axing thousands of teachers, according to schools secretary Ed Balls. The cost-cutting moves have been described as Balls explained his theory to the Sunday Times. Pupils would be responsible for self-...
Read full storyMan U Penalty Fastest In Premiership History
There was controversy at Old Trafford yesterday after the referee awarded Manchester United a penalty just two minutes before kick off. The Old Trafford club was rocked to the rafters by the decision after Manchester City defender Wayne Bridge upe...
Read full storyDan Brown: Dead French Woman says she wrote his best sellers.
Véritable Arnaque who died 999 years ago in the French town of Qui-a-dit-ça, but who has earned Paris mediums very many millions of Euros which they have not declared to the tax man, has revealed that she was the real author of Dan Brown's 'Da Vinci...
Read full storyParatrooper
The following is a telephone conversation between U.S. Army Airborne School and a caller. • U.S. Army Airborne School, Ft. Benning, Georgia. Can I help you? • Yes! This is a long distance call. I would like to have some information about paratroopers and skydiving training. • Sir, I'm afraid, we provide only paratroopers training. Skydiving is not within our jurisdiction. I see what you m...
Read full storyDiaireai Brown, the illusionist, makes his audience stick to their chairs
The star - who last week seemed to have picked his nose - showed a short film on his Channel 666 television show. Viewers were told to sit back in their chairs with their respective feet flat on the floor and their hands in pans of warm water. The...
Read full storyModerators rejects article because of spam - Writer speaks out
A recent signup to the popular online writers website, TheSpoof.com, is enraged at having an article rejected by moderators of the site accusing it of containing spam. The writer who wished not to be named, but it's me, said: "I know I could be bl...
Read full storyJeremy Piven Settles Lawsuit, Will Star in "The Piven Monologues"
In a surprising move, actor Jeremy Piven has announced that he will star in the play "The Piven Monologues" at New York's Public Theater. Less than 72 hours before the announcement, Piven's lawyer served the Public Theater with a "cease and desist" l...
Read full storyIowa Grocers Warned Not to Feed Teenagers
Des Moines,Ia-State officials have once again warned grocers not to feed Teenagers after a ravenous youth went wild and destroyed a supermarket overnight in Sioux City. The incident at Phipp's Shop and Chop wasn't discovered until Manager Greg Phi...
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