Man U Penalty Fastest In Premiership History

Funny story written by Dingwall Johnson

Sunday, 20 September 2009

There was controversy at Old Trafford yesterday after the referee awarded Manchester United a penalty just two minutes before kick off.

The Old Trafford club was rocked to the rafters by the decision after Manchester City defender Wayne Bridge upended Wayne Rooney in the tunnel.

Ref. Atkinson had little choice but to point to the spot, though Manchester United players rounded on him to complain that he was, in fact, pointing at the dug out.

Once on the pitch however, and after consultation with the fourth official, Atkinson corrected his mistake and the penalty was awarded.

Rooney stepped up and kicked the ball straight at the Manchester City keeper who dived to avoid a stinging sensation on his fingers.

It's only the third time in Premiership history a club have been awarded a penalty pre-kick off.

The other two occasions were both at Old Trafford, once against Manchester United for Wayne Rooney's woeful singing of The Streets pop hit A Grand Don't Come For Free led to a penalty for rivals Liverpool FC.

The other decision also went against United when Sir Alex Ferguson spat his chewing gum out. The offending piece of gum upended Arsenal's Eduardo in the penalty box - though United players claimed he had dived.

Eduardo later came unstuck when he was carpeted by the FA to replace a rug that had become threadbare.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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