Honey, I Cloned Mickey
New York, New York, New York, New York - Scientists in Kobe, Japan have revealed they have successfully cloned a dead mouse, frozen for the past 16 years. It marks the first time tissue taken from a dead mammal has been successfully cloned to form a...
Read full storySpider On Wall Tells Fly's Story
Salt Lake City, Utah- A spider on the wall in the upper right corner of the ceiling relayed this story he got from two flies after he sucked it out of them. "Those little buggers are not in the least interested in what's being said, even if the...
Read full storyPlans afoot to clone Queen Mum
After the news that scientists have been able to produce a clone from a frozen dead animal, TheSpoof.com has learned of plans to clone the Queen Mother. Due to the falling popularity of the Monarchy over the last decade, big wigs within the pala...
Read full storyThousands in Chicago Burn Mortgages, Line Up for Free Gas During Chicago Obama Victory Celebration!
Chicago,Il / AP - The streets of Chicago were ablaze with the midnight bonfires of aging tenements while jubilant Obama supporters ran wild sacrificing K-9 dogs and the horses of this urban city's law enforcement agency for a "Zulu Cookout." Sp...
Read full storyGranny's Gone Wild!
Twelve Grandmothers from Rustelville, Kentucky have had some classy Nude photographs taken privately and taken them to a printer's shop and ran off some 10,000 calenders to sell to the public. "They keep raising the price of our medicine and groce...
Read full storyPalin "confused" by vote
"I hope, pray, believe I will be able to wake up as vice-president elect, so I made sure to cross out Biden's name on the ballot I cast." Asked by reporters what it was like to vote for herself as vice president, she replied that "it was exciting,...
Read full storyFudpucker Motors Introduces New Squirrel-Powered Car
In Rooster Flats, Tennessee yesterday, garage genius Stanley Fudpucker showed his prototype of a new car, the 12-squirreled Fink Mobile powered completely by common grey squirrels. "I've already got Ford and Toyota interested" Fudpucker told rep...
Read full storyDespite Exit Polls, Barr Predicts Upset Over Obama, McCain
O'FALLON, MI (Friggemall Wire Services) -- Libertarian Presidential candidate Bob Barr still believes he has a shot at becoming our nation's next leader when the polls close later today. Despite exit polls not looking good for Barr, he believes th...
Read full storyCCTV Probe
The Government announced today that it is to reassess its use of closed-circuit television systems. The news comes only weeks after it was announced the UK was the "most recorded nation ever, ever". An unprecedented number of petitions were hande...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus wears a colostomy bag when Touring
Teen sensation Miley Cyrus has abandoned all the usual celebrity shit by telling an interviewer her most intimate detail: that she wears a colostomy bag while on tour. The unbelievably popular singer/actress never gets time to have a proper dump w...
Read full storyGod to Retire at end of Year
God has finally admitted that the rumors surrounding his impending retirement are true. At the end of this year he will hang up his cloud for the final time. "I'm too old for this shit", he grumbled in a downtown strip club. Considered by some...
Read full storyAngelina dated Jen before Brad?!
This morning superstar actress Angelina Jolie revealed the truth of her and partner and father of her childrens Brad Pitt's relationship. In an interview with Cosmopolitan magazine she was asked how life at home was when she shockingly said: 'I...
Read full storyMadonna says she's not returning Guy's penis
Pop superstar Madonna has said that she is definitely not going to give up husband Guy Ritchie's penis without a fight. The 50 year old singer said that her soon to be former husband never even used the appendage during their marriage - which leav...
Read full storyParis Hilton Jailer Recorded Conversations
This week, Charley Stubbs who works for the Los Angeles Downtown Jail sold his tape of the first 45 minutes of Paris Hilton's incarceration earlier this year. "She doesn't say a lot, really, and it's kind of slurred but the buyer will get his mone...
Read full storyPalin now President - and it's your fault!
Newly-elected President John McCain has tragically died of a heart attack just seconds after being informed of the result. His last words were "No f**king way!", before he fell to the ground clutching his chest. President Sarah Palin prised the mi...
Read full storyShock election win for Ralph Nader
In a bizarre and shocking twist to the US presidential election, Ralph Nader has won. He gained 280 electoral college votes, more than the 270 required. Although Nader trailed in the polls by a large margin behind the two favorites Barack Obama a...
Read full storyNASA's Spitzer Space Telescope was the downfall of NY Governor
New York - (Lurid Ass mess): Ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer's sordid downfall may have been due to the eponymous NASA satellite that spied on his Holy Roman Emperor VIP Club shenanigans according to NYPD sources. Officially the Spitzer Space T...
Read full storyNew American President confirmed ahead of election results
The new President of the United States has been announced ahead of the final results. In a surprise victory, Oprah Winfrey has been elected as president ahead of Barak Obama and John McCain. Although many are said to be quite surprised, some polit...
Read full storyInternational Space Station astronauts 'all voting for alien McCain?'
Outer Space - (X-Files Mess): Thanks to state of the art technology International Space Station astronauts can vote 'for the alien commander in chief of their choice' in Tuesday's presidential election. NASA has confirmed that secure electronic ba...
Read full story'Ghost of Guy Fawkes' materialises in NASA's Galaxy Evolution Explorer image
Space - (X-Files mess): An image of 1603 Gunpowder Plot villain Guy Fawkes has materialised in NASA's Galaxy Evolution Explorer's imaging technology. NASA geeks were shocked and told reporters they'd been brought up to believe that "Fawkes' celes...
Read full storyFood Poisoning Outbreak Downs School Staff and Students
Smegmadale Asbo Central College for the Intellectually-Challenged was tonight placed under a quarantine order as Department of Health inspectors, garbed in bio-hazard suits, took samples from the school's kitchen and canteen to determine the cause of...
Read full storySelena Gomez kissed her crush!
Reporters show that Selena Gomez has kissed her long time crush. On November 3, 2008 Selena was spotted kissing Shia LaBeouf. Apparently, Selena and Shia were having lunch and they shared a little peck on the mouth. We asked Selena about the...
Read full storyBonfire Night UFO tractor beam seen outside Queen's private quarters
London - (X-Files Mess): Despite an estimated £5 million tin foil-proofing of the Queen's private quarters a gigantic Bonfire Night UFO has been spotted aiming an eerie fluorescent tractor beam straight into Buckingham Palace bedrooms. Hellfire Cl...
Read full storyBilly James Celebrates Third Year of Sobriety
Alcoholics Anonymous graduate Billy James Hancock, formerly known to the small town of Brindley, North Carolina as The Town Drunk, celebrated his third full year of being alcohol-free, Sunday. Hosting several of his old friends since high school, B.
Read full storyVoting day: can America overcome its prejudices?
Election day is upon us, and tomorrow we will know who the next US president will be. But the question on everyone's lips is: Can Americans overcome their instinctive prejudices and vote for a bald man? The answer is probably no. For years bal...
Read full storyThe Pope Farts in Church, Parts Water the World Over
In a miraculous event, Pope Benedict XVI parted waters across all oceans, lakes and rivers this past Sunday, while commemorating the death of Martin de Flatulenz, patron saint of intestinal ills. With arms spread wide as an open gesture of welcome...
Read full storyWomen just aren't right for men
One man's journey with the opposite sex finally arrived at a fresh new destination, of course, we are talking with reference to one particular gentleman we interviewed not more than 4 minutes and 32 seconds ago - Herbert Humphrey Humbledick. 'Herb...
Read full storyJennifer Aniston is pregnant
With rumours flying around that Jennifer Aniston is back with John Mayer due to being pregnant - I finally tracked the source. I got the story directly from the horse's mouth - Angelina Jolie. She (Angie) says she cannot lie any longer. So I'll d...
Read full storyVoters turned away from US election
Thousands of Brits are being turned away from town halls and schools today after trying to vote in the US election. Following months of front-page coverage of the US presidential race in UK newspapers, Brits turned up at their usual polling statio...
Read full storyClarkson in joke scandal
The BBC has received more than 200 complaints following a joke on Top Gear, with callers all demanding that Jeremy Clarkson should be sacked. "This joke has been going on too long," said one complainer. "He is not even a funny joke - just a ridicu...
Read full storyCandies' Health Reports: McCain's Melanoma Pales in Contrast to Palin's Megalomania!
John McCain may have had serious bouts with skin cancer but his running mate according to recently revealed mental health reports is a much sicker puppy. Palin has been diagnosed with Megalomania Giganticus. This rare but fatal mental illness h...
Read full storyCampaigns Buttonhole Voters and Pigeonhole Pigeons!
Clever campaign paraphernalia has captured the imagination of political observers for centuries. A papyrus scroll claiming that Jefferson is a godless whore has a prize place in the propaganda collection of Fox News mogul Genghis Khunning. A shov...
Read full storyASSFrFred44Giveness: What gives with new seminary rules!?
Dear FRFRED, I have been applying to Roman Catholic Seminaries now for a dozen years. I thought 12(apostles, tribes of Israel, sons of Jacob) might be my lucky charm. But now the Vatican has issued even tighter restrictions on applicants. Do you think it fair that my desire to live and work and prey, er, I meant, pray among men just like me should be denied after so many Catholic queers have e...
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