Phoenix Lander fails to find WMD
George W Bush expressed his dismay at the 'abysmal failure' of the latest Mars mission.
Read full story"To Be Announced": Most Watch Television Program Ever
In a surprised to many, The International Academy of Arts and Sciences recently recognized the television program "To Be Announced" as the most watched television program ever. Producers of the program came from all over t...
Read full storyMcCain To Pick Methuselah for VP
Senator John McCain will ask legendary biblical figure Methuselah to be the Republican vice presidential nominee, according to a GOP source who asked not to be identified.
Read full storyObama Refuses to Address Prostate Cancer Rumors
(Athens, GA) -- Despite hundreds of pages declaring opponent John McCain healthy and "cancer-free", Barack Obama's campaign would not deny rumors yesterday that its candidate has prostate cancer.
Read full storyBriscoe Aplogizes for Danica Crash
On Sunday, during the 92nd running of the Indianapolis 500, Ryan Briscoe crashed into Danica Patrick and knocked her out of the race. Enraged, Danica marched over to Briscoe's crew and tried to throw it down with them until security came to get h...
Read full storyUSA Declares War On Scotland
In a surprise move, the United States declared war on Scotland today. Speaking from Washington DC, Secretary of State, Condaleeza Rice, said: 'Today, at 11 hundred hours, the United States of America declared war on Scotland. A task force of troo...
Read full storyAmerican Irony University To Open
It was announced today that the United States is to open a University of Irony, in Chatanooga Creek, Oklahoma.
Read full storyRacist Woman Who Claimed She was Being Stalked by A Black Man, Now Admits It Was Just her Shadow
A racist Californian woman has renounced her claims that she was the victim of an 'un-identified black male' after video evidence produced by a Japanese business man clearly shows that it was just her own shadow.
Read full storyRAF biplane fleet 'should be grounded'
A coroner has urged the RAF to ground its entire fleet of biplane reconnaissance planes. This follows yet another crash, as a Sopwith Camel hit the ground when its pilot was too busy trying to unjam the rudder to notice how low he was flying.
Read full storyPresident Bush Plans Ultrasecret Invasion of Saudi Arabia to Insure Security of the US!
Jame's (U.K.) has learned via leaks at the highest levels that the U.S., under a plan hatched by President Bush called Project FAS, for F--- Saudi Arabia, plans to solve the immediate and near-term U.S. oil crisis by seizing all the oil and gas p...
Read full storyMcCain Welcomes Mark Foley, Larry Craig, and Charlie Crist to Ranch
Mephistophel, Tennessee (IPP) - Republican presidential hopeful John McCain welcomed fellow Republicans Mark Foley, Larry Craig, and Charlie Crist to his dude ranch in western Tennessee for the week for a private party lasting a week, a day, and sixt...
Read full storyIOC Announces Dog Walking as Olympic Sport
The Olympic committee has announced that dog walking will be a trial sport at the Beijing Olympics, limited to ladies only and performed dogless.
Read full storyMars Lander Phoenix Repaired by Haitian Astronauts
Martian North Pole (IPP) - Desperation and depression turned into jubilation this afternoon when the Mars lander named Phoenix began sending photos of the surface of Mars after a few hours of silence and darkness.
Read full storyMars Phoenix discovers crude oceans
Northern Plains, Mars - (Hydrocarbons Mess): Scientists at NASA's Jet Convulsion Laboratory are celebrating today after the Mars Phoenix sent back stunning pictures confirming the red planet is a gigantic rock/ice-covered crude ocean.
Read full storyVladimir Putin to star in Russian revenge remake of 'crystal skulls' Indiana Jones
Moscow - (Crystal Ass Mess): Russian Prime Monster Vladimir Putin has been beseiged with requests to star in a Russian revenge remake of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Read full storyFortress of Solitude to be re-developed
The second home of timid, mild mannered Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent, The Fortress of Solitude is to be developed into a number of flats and apartments for well-heeled multi-millionaires.
Read full storyJohn McCain To Join Game Show "Survivor"
(Washington, D.C.) In a move that may be as advised as the Bush administration's "Mission Accomplished" declaration of 2003, presumptive Republican Presidential nominee John McCain held a press conference stating that h...
Read full storyRay Mears Is A Fake
Friends and Colleagues of British Rambo; Ray Mears, have branded him as a BBC 'ringer', who is scared of spiders.
Read full storyTheSpoof.Com Admit Responsibility for The Scottish Cup Final 'Moustachegate'
A 'Queen of the South' versus 'Glasgow Rangers' Cup Final was never going to get the mouth watering.
Read full storySchool Holidays are to be abolished
A Government think-tank has advised that British schools are not teaching children enough and that the best solution would be to abolish holidays altogether. In spite of record numbers
Read full storyMI5: Trainee Terrorists Wanted!
A job advertisement that appeared in many newspapers today read:...
Read full storyBarak Obama to change his last name to Kennedy and convert to Catholicism
MIDDLETOWN, Connecticut - Paying tribute to ailing Senator Edward Kennedy, US Presidential candidate Barak Obama told students at Wesleyan University he will be changing his name and converting to Catholicism.
Read full storyDisadvantaged young offenders given computer crime tips
Police in Cambridgeshire are backing a new scheme that they hope will teach young offenders the value of information technology. The project, called Computers In Your Future, is the brainchild of local social worker Susan Grolies. She has been working with young offenders for nearly two years.
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