Written by Clifford Rutley

Monday, 26 May 2008

image for MI5: Trainee Terrorists Wanted!

A job advertisement that appeared in many newspapers today read:

Trainee Terrorists Wanted!

Must be mentally unstable (preferably on some sort of psychotropic antidepressant, such as Prozac), and have a highly naïve mentality. Training will be given on how to attach thumb tacks to firecrackers with sticky tape, as well as how to set it off in your own face in order to look horrible and bloody for when the media turn up, so they can blow the whole incident way out of proportion, causing weak people to quiver in fear and hide behind their sofa, their knees knocking together because they see none existent terrorists everywhere, when they have more chance of being struck down by lightning or winning the lottery jackpot than being killed by a real terrorist. But still they will jump through hoops for the fascists in power, as they get more and more of their freedoms taken away.

Send your application (along with your medical record to show which psychotropic drugs you are on and how mentally unstable you are) to:


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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