Crane smashes Manhattan building, misses Spitzer residence by inches
Midtown Manhattan, NYC - (Reuterus): Gov Eliot Spizter had yet another lucky escape today when a 15 storey-high construction crane smashed into a neighboring building.
Read full storyMr Whippy Shooting: Cadets Honoured
A turf war may have broken out between Mr Whippy and King Cone, two ice cream men in the notoriously violent town of Penicuik, Scotland resulting in Mr Whippy being shot in the backside and receiving...
Read full storyRecent Archaeological Discovery Has Catholic Church in Tremors
PHNOM PENH, CAMBODIA - Earlier this week, in Southern Cambodia, a team of attractive, racially diverse and sexually open-minded archaeologists uncovered an artifact with a crude carving of Christ depicted as a vampire. An inscription beneath the draw...
Read full storySpitzer, Dupre, Silda, and Paterson--Recent Activities and Sheer Weirdness!
"The Current World Zine" reports in its mid-March issue that the principals(cast of "weirdo absurds" in the Eliot Spitzer Prostitute Scandal) are now living in another world...the world of the bizarre! Eliot, the humiliated politico; Ashley ("Kristen"), the prostitute; Silda, the trained and silent "monkey;" and David A. Paterson, "Ray Charles Wannabe," and the next New York State Governor ar...
Read full storyAshley Dupré's MySpace Web Page infected with a virus; shutdown after five million hits...on it
Cyber Space - After receiving over five million hits, MySpace administrators discovered that Ashley Dupré's MySpace Web Page was carrying a little more than they bargained for. They discovered it was infected with a computer virus. Everyone who l...
Read full storyEdward Norton's Anti-Virus fears
Actor Edward Norton, who plays Bruce Banner in the soon to be released Incredible Hulk film, has expressed his fears over the widespread use of anti-virus software.
Read full storyMarshmallow Chickens Nearly Extinct
(Philadelphia PA) Biologists at the University of Pennsylvania are warning Easter shoppers the famous marshmallow chicken is nearly extinct. The unusual bird has been declining in recent years due to heavy predation and breeding difficulties. The chi...
Read full storyParanoid Officials Tank Scholastic Achievement
In recent months the government as been trying to outlaw home schooling. In California they have succeeded. However, with high suspension rates throughout the nation, it appears they may have acted too soon. Due to the pompous school officia...
Read full storyFBI: Holy Roman Emperor Club VIP hooker is shielding Spitzer
New York - (Fetid Ass Mess): This weekend's LA FagHagSlagMag editorial says the FBI believes NY call girl Ashley Dupre is shielding Eliot Spitzer's ass after he was penetrated by Al Qaeda in a fetishistic gay sex blackmail scam.
Read full storyWoman freed from toilet after 25 year long crap
A Kansas woman, having spent the last quarter century emptying her bowels was finally released from her white enamel prison today, saying "I was caught short after a Big Mac but I didn't think I'd be on the throne for 25...
Read full storyAshley Dupré is an Obama Girl Fembot, says Hillary Clinton; all apart of a Left Wing Conspiracy to undermine her Superdelegates
Washington, DC - In the latest attack on Obama, the Hillary Clinton political campaign alleged today that Ashley Dupré is not a real woman (or a prostitute), but a Fembot (a robotic woman) trained at a secret camp run personally by Barack Obama. Clin...
Read full storyVelvety Hollow
As the saying goes, 'Life flies and the rest is lies'. To make life worthwhile, we need a press stud. Yes, that cute hollow with a seat to allow insertion of the head of the mushroom until it reaches a tighter part when a ring snaps into a groove and momentarily anxieties are released.
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