A turf war may have broken out between Mr Whippy and King Cone, two ice cream men in the notoriously violent town of Penicuik, Scotland resulting in Mr Whippy being shot in the backside and receiving some urgent medical attention from 3 army cadets who were awarded a Victoria Cross each for their quick thinking.
Mr Whippy (real name Jimmy Riddle) was believed to have provoked King Cone (real name Jock Anory) by shouting our from his van "Raspberry Ripple!" which is Rabbi Burns rhyming slang for 'cripple' as he passed King Cone in Holyrood Avenue last week. On hearing this, Jock slammed his brakes on and jumped out of his van with a 24-bore pump action rifle given to him by his great, great, grandfather, Rory Anory an 88 year-old divorcee, from Glasgow. Several shots were heard after Jock was heard to shriek;
"Yae Bastard, yae bastard! Yae waste o space.Yae've bin nutin but a pain in the arse since yae bin ere. Take this yae bastard,; and this; and this. Yae'll now ken it is tae be a pain in t'arse now!"
Jock was given a suspended life sentence at Edinburgh Crown Court for ABH and Mr Whippy who has now recovered from his ordeal, wants to thank the cadets by giving them a choice of a 99, a Cornetto (just one!), 3 Mini Milks or a Magnum.
Jimmy told In Seine News;
"Those young lads saved my life - they stopped the bleedin' from my shot bott and tae give them a reward is the least I could do!"
