Edward Norton's Anti-Virus fears

Funny story written by Bertrand Sedgley-Smythe

Saturday, 15 March 2008

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Nortons Anti Virus fears have been poo-pooed by the experts

Actor Edward Norton, who plays Bruce Banner in the soon to be released Incredible Hulk film, has expressed his fears over the widespread use of anti-virus software.

Norton, 21, believes that through over-use, computers are actually building up a resistance to anti-virus software. He believes a catastrophe will happen should a virus attack become widespread.

"It's a bit like taking antibiotics if you had a cold" said the over privileged star. "When you really need them to work, they won't because you've used them too much in past."

Leading advocates of anti-virus software, such as Dr Solomon, Eddie Sophos and Donald McAfee, were quick to dismiss Norton's theory. "What the fuck does he know anti-virus software? He's an actor - why doesn't he just stick to acting and keep his nose out of our extremely lucrative business" said Eddie Sophos, creator of the worlds most popular Anti Virus software.

Norton, however, went on to justify his theory: "In order to play the part of Bruce Banner, I had to become Bruce Banner. That involved 26 years of physics study, culminating in a Doctorate. It also involved amassing a collection of 'ripped to shreds' jeans and lumberjack checked shirts. I know a thing or two about physics."

Edward James Norton, his father, said: "He right. I'll stick a lawsuit on your ass if you reckon otherwise."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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