As Naked Paris Hilton Holds Tongue, PM Blair Demands Native American Casino Proceeds: "I'm An American Indian, Jack."
JUAN DE BUTTOFUOCCO, WA -- British Prime Minister Tony Blair arrived on the Makaw Indian reservation today and claimed five percent of the proceeds from the lucrative "Good Times Roll" casino.
Read full storyMI5 - threat levels explained more clearly
In conjunction with the release of e-mail and mobile alerts to the general public, MI5 have also today released details of the renaming of the levels of security threat.
Read full storyBlair vows to completely "Bugger" the NHS by 2008
It was announced today that scientists working closely with the NHS have developed a hand held scanner that detects the super bug MRSA. The gadget, which has been in development for two years, is to be officially called the "Bugger".
Read full storyU.S. Military Kills 27 Somali Sheep herders, and several dozen sheep linked to Al Queda
Washington - Pentagon sources revealed today that U.S. air strikes successfully killed at least 27 Al Qaeda operatives today and yesterday in its bid to help support the fledgling Somali government. Many of the terrorists were thought to be posing as...
Read full storyMorrissey's Eurovision Glory Under Threat from Radiohead
Just hours after it emerged that flower-wielding tunesmith Morrissey was a shoe-in for the UK's Eurovision entry, mardy rockers Radiohead have rained on his parade.
Read full storyBlair Jams His Blues Away
A bootleg of Tony Blair's jam session with the Bee Gees during his Christmas freebie has appeared tonight on the Internet.
Read full storyScientists find three black holes in Treasury accounts
London - (Ass Mess): Forensic scientists investigating a gang of former Irish pig farmers from Shergar, County Louse who have been trading under the banner of Treasury Holdings Ltd in order to purchase the fraudulently engineered deeds to Battersea P...
Read full storyPlonkette.com - launch of the new Downing Street gossip blog
London - (Ass Mess): A new political gossip site dedicated to retro-engineering Downing Street disinformation releases was launched today by a breakaway faction of tabloid insiders Slags Anonymous under the inimicable internet banner of Plonkette.com...
Read full storySunday Times to include new 'Reader's Wives' supplement
The Times announced today that it would be including a new 'Reader's Wives' supplement on Sundays.
Read full storyHumans existed 50,000 years before evangelical creationists
Savannah River, South Carolina - (Ass Mess): Conclusive proof that human beings existed 50,000 years before the hybrid sub-species of homo creationists has been found by a scientific survey probing archaeological remains along the Savannah River basi...
Read full storyHomosexuals To Be Treated The Same As Straight US Citizens
In a bold move by the US Government, Homosexual men & women will have the same rights as their straight counterparts. From March 3rd 2007 'gays' will be allowed to ride on buses, eat in family restaurants & even take part in sports. The move...
Read full storyNew Powers for Council Residents
Embattled Minister Without Principles, Ruth Kelly announced new powers for the residents of council estates accross the Country Today.
Read full storyBill Gates "My Cheapo Eye Op's Gone Pear Shaped
World's richest man, Bill Gates, today proves the rule that money can't buy you everything.
Read full storyHellfire Club paying Kate to pose as William's girlfriend
London - (ReUterus): Senior Euro-Septic Tory grandees bankrolled Kate Middleton to move into student accommodation in St Andrews into which the Pretender to the Throne's son William was shoehorned according to transcripts of MI5 files found after...
Read full storySaddam's body stolen, hip bone donated to George Bush Sr surgery
Tikrit - (Ass Mess): Grave robbers vandalised Saddam Hussain's tomb and stole his body for medical research shortly after his internment according to a breaking news Al's Jazz Era TV bulletin. And in a hideous twist undercover reporters at t...
Read full storyFlorida Gators Use Real Alligators Against Ohio State
Glendale, Arizona- The University of Florida used real alligators against Ohio State to win the biggest college football game of the year. The toothy reptiles would get a grip on their opponents ankles everytime they tried to run the ball and thus...
Read full storyRuth Kelly Is New Doctor Who Assistant
The BBC has revealed that Ruth Kelly, and not Freema Agyeman, is to be Doctor Who's new assistant.
Read full storyLost Beatles Footage Causes A Stir
Lost Footage of the fab four has surfaced in a car boot sale in Peckham, South East London. Bert Trubbins, a bargain hunter from Peckham himself was taking his elderly wife Martha for their usual Sunday hunt for trinkets & tat when he came across the...
Read full storyState schools defend their SEN provision
A comprehensive Headmaster, Mr Bob Slither, yesterday condemned the decision by Former Education Secretary Ruth Kelly to send her child to a public school.
Read full storyThat Smell - It's Those Nasty Terrorists Again!
Police in New York have established that the bad smell that has been wafting through the city these past few days is the work of Islamic extremists.
Read full storyThe White City Laddies Get It Wrong - Doo Dah Doo Dah
In a shock move that's set to strain race relations to the very limit, the BBC is reported to be bringing back the Black and White Minstrel Show.
Read full storyHillary Bill And The One That Got Away
Former first lady, Hillary Clinton, has been telling reporters about her trip to the English Lake District, Cumbria, with husband Bill.
Read full storyMarks and Spencer's Make A Profit!
Marks and Spencer's have for the first time in over ten years made a profit, the brave faced store, once believed the only place for a patriotic Brit to shop have finally convinced punters it "wasn't just an expensiv...
Read full storyGovernment Unveils 'Beat Generation' Green Proposals
The government has put radical new "hep-cat" proposals forward in an effort to urge more people to "go green". After meeting building industry leaders, Minister for Housing and MFI Flat-pack Shelves Yvette Cooper said that she pla...
Read full storyUS May Face Celebrity Shortage by 2015
America's increasing reliance on celebrities may cause severe shortages in the next five to ten years. Our appetite for celebrities may be limitless, but the supply grows at a much slower pace than many realize according to the US Department of...
Read full storyNYC stench tracked down
Manhattan Jan 9th 2007, A strange odor permeated the buildings and streets of NYC yesterday causing many to abandon their desks and flock to the streets of the city.
Read full storyRock n Roll Hall of Fame snubs The Stooges
NY Times reported that some hopefuls for the Hall fell short: "Nominees who did not make the cut this year include Chic, the Dave Clark Five, the Stooges and Joe Tex."...
Read full storyIraqi Civil War Spreads to the Republican Party
Reports from Washington are that...since the November election...large numbers of despondent Republican leaders are committing suicide, and that many of them are taking their fellow Republicans along with them, in acts of suicidal desperation.
Read full storyFity Cent Replaced By Dollahnchanj
The music world has been rocked by the surprising emergence of Asian Indian- American rap star, Dollahnchanj. Born in the Scarsdale ghetto the newest, latest golden record rap idol appeared as if out of nowhere,man and the throngs of rap fans can o...
Read full storyPremier husbands' website takes pointers from The Spoof
The premier husbands' website, HenPecked.com, has admitted to being inspired by The Spoof to include a points system to rate the severity of henpeckedness. Previously henpecked simply included tales of wifely nagging and subtle torment and domina...
Read full storyNew Britney Barbie Doll Debuts
The new Britney Spears Barbie doll has been unveiled by Mattel. Unlike other, more traditional Barbies, this one does not come with underwear and is anatomically correct. "We used photos of Britney getting out of the car with Paris Hilton to make su...
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